BaLsy's World

2012-01-01T16:43:00.001Z

2012

Welcome to 2012. It has been a while since I last visited this blog, let alone write something here.

2011 is no doubt a very dramatic year for many of us...well, atleast for me anyways :)

It has been a very testing year on both the personal and work front. It was all about expressing feelings and thoughts in the right manner, right time, voice tone n body language; accepting and embracing differences between individuals whom we r related with and those we choose to be close with and in a relationship with. Besides that, most of the time, it was more about relearning about myself...having numerous inner self-battle, dealing with consequences of my past actions, having to accept that nothing remains constant..nothing remains in its status quo forever...thus sometimes its good to get out of the comfort zone and test the waters outside our norm horizon.

There are quite a few questions or remarks made during conversations last year that hit the 'brain cells' to think, rethink, reassess and relook and perhaps take action:-

1) what are you really passionate about in life?
2) Dont you pray?
3) I hope you are over him...
4) my senior said 'we are seen as excess baggage'....(but unfortunately i see us more as a dumping ground)
5) what else are u looking for in life?

These are only some out of the load.

One of the remarks that bothered me so much was something along this line 'siok jua life mu ani ah...you had it easy'... That made me really think...n I find it really rude to say that...I was very offended though at that time I chose to remain calm and undisturbed as always. But seriously you have no idea how hard life was for me when I was younger..not even the slightest idea of half of the things i have to go through. You dont know the sort of trouble I was pulled into just bcause I'm 'parent-less'. You have no idea the kind of situation I had to deal with and the kind of things I have to hear n accept n still act cool about it. Unless u have been in my shoes, then no...I don't appreciate u judging my life like u know me no matter how close we r. No one have the right to stay that to another indivdual because u can never fully understand another person.

Anyhow, I thank God that life has been kind to me as I grow older. I can only thank God and wish his gracious rizq will continue in every ways. And I hope i wouldn't lost myself n my faith along the way.

With that, I can only pray n hope that life will continue to treat us all well. But when it doesn't, I hope we would remember that everything has been plan for us, and there's always a blessing in disguise. Amin amin.

Xxxxxx

2011-09-29T08:45:00.002+01:00

Missed dearly

This day last year was a very emotional day for our family. It’s the day my grandma passed away. Though she is no longer with us here, she is still deeply missed and at times it feels like she is still around.

There are so many things to share when it comes to her. When I was younger, she was the one who used to wake me up every morning to go and buy ‘kuih’ or ‘pulut panggang’ for breakfast. She was the one who made the greatest soup, the greatest home-made food and made sure I am awake on time to get ready and have enough time to walk to school. She has so much love to shower and share; and her level of patience and endurance is undoubtedly amazing. I am sure the whole extended family agrees.

Mudahan sentiasa dirahmati and placed among those yang beriman and yang berada di jalan Allah.

Al-Fatihah..with loads of love.

2011-04-21T11:16:00.000+01:00

Our flights got delayed...so here we are stuck at KLIA. Foot spa is too expensive...the book store is getting uninteresting..and our feet is killing us. Thank god for the movie lounge section..we get to rest, watch movie and enjoy free wireless for a limited time =)

My first trip to Jakarta wasnt too bad. The hotel wasnt too bad though parts of it needs to be renovate...from my point of view...=p This time, I manage to make time for a full body massage and body scrub at the hotel...yay =)

Anywy, I have been looking forward for my mandatory leave next week...rupanya I havent took time off work for at least one year..hmm..unfortunately, despite being approved, I will have to go to work and reschedule internally my hols after July. hmm. Meaning I wont be able to go overseas tho I want to cause Im suppose to be at work..except during weekends..hmm..good enough lah I guess. hmm. And people say, you shouldnt let work overrule your life...ceh..=p

For the past few days, I have been doing a lot of thinking...about random stuffs...work related and not...the purpose of life, the purpose of work and purpose of everything.

At times we get too engrossed with work and all the other things in life that we neglect all the other things that matters more to us. Our vision gets clouded by the need to fulfill the things demanded out of us..or expected out of us..the so called "demands of life"...

In fulfilling the expectations, we often we forget...to pause and think...

Hence, I have pause to think...to think about all the possibilities of life...to think about all the alternatives of life...how good and / or bad life could have been...

hmm...just something to think about... to be continued...maybe...

xxx

2011-04-06T09:38:00.001+01:00

Its already Wednesday and for some reason, I have been *lazy* this week.

Ive been trying to finish up my essay...however, I could not really concentrate - I feel sleepy all the time - and when others talk to me, I feel that I cant even be bothered to listen to them but since it is important, I have to concentrate with my eyes looking at them and trying to comprehend what they are trying to say. hmm.

Sometime I amaze myself - I can really look like I am listening and concentrating when in fact, in my head, I am thinking - what is he/she talking about? or most times, I am thinking, why cant I comprehend this? Why am I like this?

I really want to finish all my essays - however, my body and mind is not aligned with what my head is telling me. Maybe I need a detox or better a longgg holiday.

Sometimes I wish I am born rich with endless money to sustain myself so that I can actually go on a long holiday or take time off work or be unemployed for a longer period. However, I also appreciate all the *lil tests* I have to go through that makes me the stronger me today and am also very bersyukur with all the blessings that Allah has given me and my family. I hope the blessings will continue and bring all of us at the right path. amin.

xxx

2011-03-31T16:11:00.001+01:00

I am no angel but I do try my best not to hurt or bruise others’ feelings. There are times when I can’t be bothered with it simply because that person does not reciprocate in the way you have always treated them; or you are just simply annoyed and tired of all the drama they create and with how you are often taken for granted.

At times, I will tell them off with my honest opinion, however, most times, I try to ‘jaga hati orang’ nya orang Brunei, sometimes at my own expense. It doesn’t mean that I am dishonest to myself/others or two-faced, but I believe there is always a better way of saying things, communicating your ideas, perspectives and represent yourself no matter how seriously annoyed or upset you are. And it also doesn’t mean that you are a sweet talker; it just reflects the kind of person you are especially as what and how you say things / communicate with others will always leave an impact on others.

xxx

2011-03-19T08:19:00.000Z

Random update

1) A fresh look for my blog - I am wondering how some blogs look so nice and refreshing padahal the template isnt there.

2) Today is my uncle's 60th birthday - when he saw me this morning - the first thing he asked me - 'Selina tau brapa umur uncle hari ani?' When I said its 60...he smiled. I think its cute. He has been waiting for his birthday since last month..he said it feels like a longggg time =)

3) I kept on bumping into my 'first love' over the past two weeks - havent seen him for ages - today was the closest encounter - Brunei is sooooo small. Hmph. Wonder what I saw in him dulu? Teenage hormones. lol.

4) Thinking of a strategy to be a pampered housewives in 10 years time - perhaps opening a business / home office of some sort would be good. lol.

5) Wonder if I can actually lose 30 kg by December...

6) Had a dream last night - I was on a holiday di KL with the current bf - and I was buying all this new nice clothes - I even bumped into my previous bf parents all the way in KL - lol - dreams have funny and weird ways of communicating with us!!

xxx

2011-03-01T15:31:00.000Z

A very short entry...

You would think that after spending practically all your life together, you would understand ‘he/she/them’ better and vice versa. Obviously that is not always the case.

Sometimes it is just so frustrating when you deal with people/individuals who think they are the best and always right…in addition to thinking that they are the most reliable, dependable, mature and responsible human being. Most people, I believe, who claims to be like this, are in fact, quite the opposite.

xxx

2011-02-27T13:54:00.000Z

A quick update…

Its been ages since the last time I blogged, but its never too late to say Happy New Year right =) Many things had happened though its only 2 months into 2011. Some are good, some are bad and some are better left unspoken. I have started off the year thinking about a lot of things…from family, friends, work, health, finance, and all that.

And though it is a ritual for people to prepare a list of wish list or resolution every year, I did not made any for this year. Instead, I would like to work on the things I wished for since 2008…A few of the things that I’ve wished for since 2008….eg…

1) ~~Get a job~~ – that is done
2) Lose 10 kg – that is still in a working progress…in fact, this year, I need to lose 30 kgs. Lol.
3) To fit into my lovely old clothes – that is not happening yet.
4) ~~Buy a house by 2010~~ – that is out of my list at the moment as I am financially unstable. Lol. However, I’ve applied for government housing back in 2009. Should hear something about it by this year.
5) To improve my sembahyang – still working on it.
6) To start mengaji – possibly soon
7) To reprioritize and put my needs first – still working on it
8) To start my savings for real…
9) …

Some of the unexpected / unplanned things happened since 2008 –

1) Found new love =)
2) Slowly letting go of old love... (finally..lol)
3) my laptop died on me...so had to buy a new laptop
4) the same goes to my car...lol.
4) Un-friend a childhood friend – good riddance I must say
5) I have anger issues lol
6) reconfirmed to myself that I hate silly confrontations
7) …

I think that's all for today.

xxx

2010-10-18T15:28:00.000+01:00

Here I am in KL...

resting on the bed...watching tv and typing away =)

I have finished my paper...it needs editing and all that...

but apparently, I wont be any presentation cause there s no slot for NBD.

Lol.

I was looking forward to do it but I was not prepared.

Hence this situation works for me =)

Alhamdulillah...

anywy, the hotel is not too bad. the room is simple and nice...and i love the bathroom.

when i googled, i thought the hotel looks far from the shops...but rupanya, its next to the Pavilion.

lol...thats greatv =)

xxx

2010-10-13T04:57:00.000+01:00

Finally....

time to breathe and concentrate on my own paper.

Submitting my paper on Saturday morning for 'editing and refining'

Apparently I am flying on Monday.

Presentation will be on Wednesday.

Will be back on Friday.

Wish me luck as my public speaking skills is quite crappy.

xxx

2010-10-11T03:55:00.001+01:00

Typed on the 6 October

Work can get a bit too much to handle sometimes. Plans get messed up and extra work gets to be dumped at the officers. Extra work is fine but unnecessary work and fuss over nothing is not welcomed.

Today has been an unproductive day for me in terms of translating my thoughts on paper and finishing up my essay. I’m simply not inspired to do work…I know it can be seen as unprofessional but that’s the reality of life…..that’s how I feel.

I have an important paper to finish up however, to accommodate ‘the others’, I have to postpone my paper and work on papers for ‘the others’. Sometimes I find it annoying when ‘the others’ think that there is not already enough work being done currently….whereas in reality, we (the two of us) are doing work like theres 10 of us here.

That said; I do know others whose schedule is more hectic than mine. I should not really complain but, I find it annoying and it really gets to me sometimes. They failed to realize that my colleague and I are exhausted and are not focus due to all this random workload being dumped on our table. I think I have lost interest in doing my work, though I do get the work done.

Yes, it is true that work puts money in the pocket….food on the table…a roof on top of our head…a comfy car to get us to our destination and all that. But, at the end of the day, many fail to see that WORK IS NOT EVERYTHING. There are more important things to do in life than WORK.

All the drama and chaos are unnecessary especially when most of the extra work and long hours put in are the result of last minute decisions taken up by ‘the others’.

That said; there is nothing much I can do for now. I can only hope that they will soon have a proper time and decision management to give us ample time to breathe and do work at the same time.

Adios
xxx

2010-09-17T19:24:00.001+01:00

Besides the 'lepaking session' on the first day of eid at my grandma and cousins, its been quite a while since the last time I was truly excited for Eid. I dont remember how and why the excitement has deteriorate...but its probably cause I am older now..or probably because I presume some or most of the things done pre-eid are unnecessary and such a wastage or .... lol.

Whatever the reason is...I felt a bit of excitement or *jealousy* last week while I was in KB beraya at one particular home.

As a kid, I remember my dad would always bring me there every now and then. His friend has 5 kids and we would ber-karaoke, liat tv etc while my dad and his friend chat.

Now his friend's kids are all grown up and married. So when we went there the other night to beraya, his house was filled with fun..laughter...as most of them..both children and grandkids.... duduk dapan tv watching one of the horror movie on Astro.

To see them talk and laugh...being carefree and all that...made me felt something...m not sure what it was.

The family bond is just amazing...Everyone wasnt bickering over one another and just sitting down and all that....i felt a *feeling*. The calmness and the "meriah-ness" I felt saddens me especially when I felt it in another person's home. hmm. Maybe that is the feeling of Eid. I wonder...

2010-08-09T15:52:00.001+01:00

There are a number of things that took place in the past few years..especially in the past two years...and sometimes I can't help but wonder, is blood really thicker than water? Seriously...it is??? Sometimes I think its the other way round....

With that thought...I'll stop here.

Goodnight

xxx

2010-08-07T19:05:00.001+01:00

I want to be brilliant =p

For the past two weeks, I have been alone in my office as my senior is on leave.

There are times when I am so energize to do work and I will finish off all the newspaper readings that I have to do and mark relevant ones for the librarian to cut, scan and store...and continue it with my typing, reading and doing research.

There are also times when I am just so not into my work and I will feel extremely sleepy. This is when I will be sitting, looking down at my paper or holding up a pen trying to keep buzy but my eyes are just too heavy...or I have to walk around to give random visit to the other units...just to say hi and wake myself up.

Recently, I have been doing alot of reading. And as I was reading all this excellent analytical articles written by renowned researchers / lecturers / journalist...it hit me...I want to be able to write brilliantly. I want to be like them..if not better..=)

One of my monthly core task is to write two papers...one is facts only and another one is an issue based paper which requires me to be analytical. I want to do both brilliantly. How do I do that? lol.

I know that my writing skills or analytical skills have progressed...judging from my boss's feedback on my work..yay...=) however, I dont really think I am doing that well. There are still a couple of things...(or alot actually) that needs to be look at and improve.

One of it is my talking skills. I tend to work better on paper than explaining things verbally. And sometimes I prefer it that way. Introvert tah banar. lol. Next is my presentation skills. This is one of my greatest fear that I have not overcome. Anyway, both are related to public speaking. lol.

Being in Uni was different, I get to talk and practice infront of the same group of ppl, but in the working life, its just scary cause you dont get the same audience all the time and ppl expect you to be good. ppl expect you to know the things you do at the back of ur palm...which is not always the case....
I see things more as an ongoing learning process. No matter how much I read and know about things, there will always be someone who is more well-read than I am. I just wish ppl realise that.

Anyway, my point is...I want to be brilliant at what I'm doing. I want to write excellent analytical articles that is good enough to be publish in newspapers, journal, magazines...etc. I want to have my own book published...with my name on it. I want to be give excellent book reviews, I want ppl to fight to get the first or the last copy of my book...etc. wouldn't that be brilliant? lol.

I will try to work myself towards my aim starting next week...insyallah...=)

Its already 2am..and I have to wake up at 4.30 tomorrow.

Goodnight.

And may I have a brilliant Sunday tomorrow =)

xxx

2010-07-29T03:59:00.000+01:00

At times I feel like there is just not enough time for me…to do what I plan to do, to achieve what I want to achieve and to make changes to the things that is close to me. Hmm. I feel like time is catching up on me…and sometimes I feel like it’s literally catching up.

I will often find myself trying to juggle a couple of things at a time. Some are more productive than others. At the same time, i'll be thinking of how and what else could I do to make all easier, etc and by the end of the day, I’m just so exhausted.

I wish I'm given more time...there is just so much to do. Amin!!

xxx

2010-07-20T17:54:00.003+01:00

I am currently attending a training course with the Scholarship Students who are enjoying their summer holidays. I am not that crazy about the course, but yea, I am open to attend it when the superior think that my colleagues and I should be able to learn and gain something new from it.

I’ve learned that managing projects requires more of careful planning and thinking critically. The more I listen to the facilitator, the more I feel that if we sit and think realistically and logically, all of us can be excellent project managers or project leaders. LOGIC AND CAREFUL PLANNING. AND OFCOURSE $$$$$ =)

Anyway, today I am surprised by the remark made by the facilitator about me. There I was sitting and listening to her trying not to fall asleep and then she asked me whether I am the only officer who was never a ****** scholarship student (bearing in mind my other two colleagues – not ****** scholarship students as well – were not present today)…so I said yes, cause I am really never this certain Ministry’s scholarship student…I received my scholarship from MOE.

Anyhow, the more surprising remark is her next sentence. She said something along the line…to the whole class…‘Do you guys ever wonder why Selina is comfortable sitting on the side instead of the middle of the class’? I may be wrong but it is because she feels she is less intelligent bla bla bla by the others who are all scholars. I was like WHAT?! I was completely blur and didn’t know what to say.

I mean just because I like to observe more than talking, just because I am not as expressive and outspoken as the ‘excited enthusiastic young scholars who talks over each other’, it doesn’t make me less intelligent. I am proud and happy of my achievements and my hard work throughout my academic life. She has no right to judge me like that.

Initially I didn’t want to confront her about it however, by the end of the day I decided that I should. Its about me..my reputation...and I don’t really want her to think of me feeling inferior or anything like that next the scholars. I was like thinking...'sekadar jua...just because they are awarded ******,...'. So at the end of the day, I told her the reason why I am sitting where Im sitting!!! Plus I was the first few to enter the room masa the first day, of course I have lots of options to choose from. She apologized. I told her that I only want to clarify myself because I don’t want her to have such impression of me. Simply cause it wasn't the truth.

Anyway, this is random but back in Uni as well as during MD, I enjoyed learning about Sociology. It was something new and I was totally into it..learning and understanding theories and reasonings abt certain aspects about family, criminals, love, etc. Sociology also made me more aware of why people think they way they think...the reasoning behind stereotyping and labelling people etc. And most importantly, it taught me not to be submissive and not to accept other people’s judgment blindly. Or else it will be a self fulfilling prophecy eventually, if we are not strong enough to prove otherwise.

Though I have to admit that there are times when I can’t be bothered with what other people think about me…cause in the end, it’s only me who really know myself…only me. But in this case, I am being judge based on me not being one of ‘them’…that isn’t fair right. The remark surprises me especially when it comes from a professional who supposedly had 20ish years of experience in her area. So I had to explain.

Hmm…funny eh…thought I’d share this with whoever is reading this.

xxx

2010-07-12T23:38:00.001+01:00

I sat quietly at a corner of a room

Looking around

People pass by

Eyes met

And yet nothing is spoken

At times you wonder

Where will this bring you?

2010-06-27T16:35:00.003+01:00

LAGENDA BUDAK SETAN

Its rare for me to truly love a malay movie..but with this one, I am sooo in love this movie...its a must watch..=)

this is the funnier happy part of the movie

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BXk7k2sHSCo&feature=related

and this is a snapshot of the whole movie

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mZtxb3DdQUk&feature=related
And I am also looking forward to the part two of the movie..

Hopefully they will make it soon =)

xxx

2010-06-25T08:16:00.002+01:00

I am exhausted and my head is banging. After ages of not taking medication (except cough syrup for my ever persistent on-and off flu), I took panadol few days ago and it felt so light.

But, I dont really want to take it again coz it might not have the same impact. so I have to make sure theres gap in between the intakes...to enhance impact. ;p

Anyway, I am at work now and Im not even in a mood to do research and type off my work. Instead I am thinking how to 'pause' my life...because I am so exhausted. But, is there even a pause button??

I was told its a tension headache...though it has been there for quite some time. I was told its my eyesight. I was told it could be my blood pressure and I was told a lot of things yadayadayada. hmm.

But instead of thinking of all the excuses to explain the headache, Im taking a leave for 4 days next month...but Im thinking...would getting a leave from work really relieve it?

hmm..something for me to find out.

How I wish there is such a thing as a pampered housewife...atleast I get to do things at my own time. I would love that (provided its at my own time)..;p OMG..we are such a spoild society.

my thinking is sooo random at the moment. so, i better sign off now.

xxx

2010-05-14T15:50:00.003+01:00

I am on a diet.

Yes people, this is my third day dieting and my second day jogging. I had a resolution back in 2007 (or way before that..) that I will lose weight on the year I turned 30. So it expires end of 2010.

I have always had weight issues. I don't remember a time when I don't have weight issues. Even when I was younger, though I am not particularly round and fat, I have always been chubby. Though I was never as heavy as I am today, I was still considered *big* for my height and age. Or bruneians prefers to call it lampuh.

Anyway, I have always believe that if I can't lose weight by the age of 30...then I will never lose it. Unless through illness or miracle..;p

Of course, some...who are aware of me trying and wanting to lose weight will say...yeaaa...I've heard that before...or yeaaa...here we go again or just laugh it off. Of course you have heard it before...because it is a problem that I have not been able to tackle yet!!

And it may be funny at times. but it hurts at other times. It may be funny that instead of losing weight, I gained weight instead.

I do get the joke. But what others don't realize is, it has always been a challenge for me to lose weight.. even 1KG is a hard work. They don't realize that it is hard for me to shed it off.

I often lose my mood when I shop for clothes. Simply because it is already a large size but I still cant fit in it nicely. Or it makes me look double my size. or it is just too small despite its so called large size.

So sometimes I will get emotional internally. and of course I will occasionally shed a tear or two. Of course I will feel depress...not be in a mood to socialize...or talk about it. Its just natural to feel that way.

Of course I appreciate the fact that at least I am healthy and blessed. but at the same time, I am trying here and it is enough that I am having a hard time to lose it, I don't really need any words of discouragement. I don't need to deal with that.

Have a good weekend.

xxx

2010-05-13T09:09:00.002+01:00

De-stressing :)

As a reward to myself and to release my stress from being in the office, I am now in the library…taking 5 mins off from typing…:)

I miss this…being able to spend time in the library. Being able to spend my time in silence. Being able to just focus on read on stuffs I am supposed to read and being able to pick up random books from random shelves just as a temporary diversion from having to read the books that you are suppose to read and know.

I use to enjoy my Uni years by spending my free time in the library. I just love the way all the books are organized and all the tall shelves with unlimited quantity of resources. Its just amazing.

Library was the place where my cousins and I hang out and meet up whenever anyone’s free. We chat (silently), finish up our work, read up on things that are listed on the reading lists, and discuss about the stuffs we do not understand...though our areas are different…one is Science, one is Business, one was in the teaching faculty and I was in the Social Sciences faculty.

Hmm...the good old times :)

xxx

2010-05-13T04:03:00.001+01:00

Not happy

I was personally invited to attend Young Leaders Forum at Seoul, South Korea at the end of this month. Can you imagine how excited I was? I printed the invitation straight away and pass it to our internal Admin people to notify boss about this. This was 30 April.

On the same day, or the next day, we had a meeting with boss about our core tasks. Holding the email I printed for him, he asked me if I am interested to participate in this forum. Clearly, I said yes, I am very interested to join this.

So he said, he will panjang kan this to orang for approval or whatever. Then I informed the Institute that invited me about it and I will notify them once I got the approval to go. Yay for me.

Last week, I asked the Admin whether they have been instructed by boss to write a letter. They said No.

They also said that he usually ask his PA to do that. o im glad. The next step is to wait for the approval.

Today, I checked my email and received an email from them saying that they have to fill in the slot for me with somebody else because its only two weeks away. And I would have to prepare some pre-assignments things by now. So they have to let me go and invite me next year (hopefully)

I was like..ohh...ok. if it has to be that way. At this stage, I am alright as in my head, it is due to the ever so slow government-style process etc. which I cannot do much about.

But then I became curious, so I called my boss's PA and asked if she ever done any letter for me to attend this forum. She checked and she has no record of it.
Rupanya my boss hogged it for whatever reason. Its still lying on his damn table.
I am so angry.

I mean he has been nagging arah kami that we inda pandai or rajin cari courses / training / conferences to attend abroad (like we have all the time in the world to monitor atu tah pulang). Not that he ever send me to the ones Ive listed out last year. hmmph!! And now that I am invited to attend this forum that is only on invitation basis, he did not act on it.

Why bother asking if I am interested to participate in it in the first place then?

And why bother nagging us to look out for relevant courses / training / conferences to attend online.. (I am not going submit my list to him now.)

Why bother to be concern about our welfare and training development etc...? Why?

Theres nothing good in giving people hope when you dont intend to act on it. Theres noting good in giving people hope when you only want to crush it!!

I am just simply plain unhappy!!!

2010-05-11T03:50:00.002+01:00

I met Princess Masnah in a dream last night.

Not sure where and what the occasion was...

but that is one weird and random dream. lol.

xxx

2010-03-21T08:07:00.000Z

Random updates:

- This is the year when my long term resolution expires…ha-ha...and I am nowhere near it. Lol. Perhaps I should start working on it soon. Hmm.

- I have never really understood how work can put strains on relationship until recently. Lol. And when this happens, it forces us to rethink and re-prioritize the importance of certain things and whether it’s worth re-aligning things in life.

- All this time I thought I am being mean or perhaps a bit of a softy, when I voice out my dissatisfaction to certain family members and friends about a certain person at work. Recent discoveries, however, has led me to conclude otherwise. Hmm. Top management should look after its staffs; and it hurts when blame of non-productivity is put on you. This person should be more professional and try to address and tackle the problem instead of bad-mouthing them. So there goes our productivity and effort…rupanya kami ani inda membuat apa apa. It makes you think...why bother huh?? Hmm. Anyhow; let it be…one of my resolutions this year is to just shut down when it comes to nonsense stuff like this. Fingers cross.

- People, especially the ones close to you, do take your existence for granted…there’s no doubt about it. It is like an unwritten philosophy / law of life. And they are sometimes, if not most of the time, unappreciative of the things you do…does not accept no for an answer…does not understand you…are not really bothered of the impacts of the things said and done…and once in a while, all these makes you think…is it worth holding on to it? all the trouble caused...is it worth it? hhmm.

xxx

2010-03-07T06:36:00.001Z

Not impressed!!!

I am looking after my uncle in one of the wards di RIPAS at the moment...and just a few hours here, I am already not impressed with the nurses here.

1) There is an old man in this ward..believed to be abandoned by his family...and they dont wipe him up and get him cleaned.

2) My uncle's dressing needs to be changed. They were told earlier already to change it...and when my cousin told me to ask them if they are going to change it...one of the nurses said...eh, awu ah....*looking away*....and four of them were just sitting there doing nothing. What is that???

3) an hour ago...one of the nurses went and closed the curtains...maybe because they want the patients to rest and get some sleep...but at the moment, durang yang bising becakap. and they inda remind the other patients' family to keep their voices down. ????

hmm...I hope its a different scenario at night....hmm

xxx

2010-02-20T15:56:00.001Z

WORKING LIFE SUCKS BIG TIME!!

I wonder how such a small office can be so chaotic and messed up? It all started with a story from A..then B wanting to validate the story and then C found out about the story and confronted A and B...then kaboom!!!!

There are of course many more...and I choose not to talk about it.

Maybe being at the Ministry was a mistake from the start.

I saw all the signs from the start but I thought it would be better if I give it time..but I should have listen to my instincts!!!

but then again..who knows..maybe theres a silver lining.

xxx

2010-02-09T03:59:00.001Z

Randomness II - When I was younger......

...I was told that drinking soya bean will make you putih. haha. not that I believe it. Coca Cola is still the best ;)

...I was told that if I didnt finish up my rice...even if tinggal one or two only on my plate...the rice will cry and it will leave scars on my face...lol. Though as a kid its not logical to me, but i finish it all coz I was scared of scars lubang lubang on my face. lol.

...There use to be this boy from Pakistan who sits next to me di St George. I use to bug him because when we write notes from the 'blackboard', our elbow use to bump into each other since hes right handed and im left handed...and his immediate response used to be 'AIDS!! AIDS!!' (while he touched his elbow and konon nya 'brushing off' the AIDS to the floor. How annoying is that?? haha.

...I enjoyed skipping before class...my partner was Hjh Latifah. Once ada this Korean parents sending their son to class while we were skipping. They stopped and took our pic while we skipped. I thought that was cool!

...I was given my first kitten by Mrs Raja. It was black and white and I named him Manja.

...my grandma used to wake me up every morning to buy breakfast at the canteen di bawah. Bingka susu and pulut panggang..nice.

...I use to go to the beach with my bro and parents. My dad will go to the jungle, mum would get her dosage of 'sunburnt'..while my bro and I will play float and pirate in the water.

hmm...all the memories. so nice.

xxx

2010-02-09T02:54:00.000Z

Randomness...

One out of every four kids in Brunei is obese. omg.
Sometimes the religious ones has the most dirtiest mind. No offense.
Green is a nice calming colour and red is hot.
I miss going to Uni.
Not a big fan of the 10 o'clock drink break.
Which is better...clips or stapler? hmm..

thats all for now.

xxx

2010-02-08T08:27:00.001Z

If only you cared to share and ask beforehand if I would like to...

dont like being taken for granted.

hmm.

xxx

2010-02-08T03:29:00.000Z

Im back to work...huhuhu. Something doesnt feel right. Perhaps..maybe...(thoughts kept to self..;p)

Anyway, just been given work to be finish up and submit by tomorrow. So I guess I will work on it today and hopefully finish it by 4.30. Amin!!

Atleast I can do my other work or just rest tonight at home. lol.

Ohh...that reminds me...I have to make a call. My night classes should already start last week...let me check my classes.

update soon

xxx

2010-01-29T00:54:00.000Z

Trip to KK

Our hotel - newly open....one week old.

Told the driver our hotel is 'Le Hotel'..he said 'Le Meridian le tu'..I said bukan. But he insisted so I thought yea, mana saja lah. Then he said 'itu 5 star hotel'..then Im like...oh no!! salah tah nie. HaHa. Luckily I saw the hotel sign earlier and its just across the road from Le Meridian.

We let the driver send us to Le Meridian and later we made our way to Warisan Square...and the hotel is on the 3rd floor..;) Found out later that it has just opened. Nice...new bed, new room, new everything..;p..and since it is not a 5 star hotel, its a perfect location and price for those on budget.

Our first stop for dinner =)

And later that night, we hang out at Starbucks. Forgot to take pics that night. Lol.

The Chicken Rice Shop - our lunch ritual =)

Since we don't do breakfast, this is where we have our proper meal. Located just below our hotel.

The rice is smell and taste nice!! Look below :)

My room's view...

More pics soon (if rajin) =p

xxx

2010-01-26T17:06:00.000Z

Boo!! Today is my second day back to work and there is already so many things to do. Had to attend a meeting so early in the morning talking about Balance Scorecard and ways of managing others 'individually' and as a 'department' efficiently. All this hype about having KPI and meeting targets etc.

Sometimes, I think it looks like a good attempt to 'manage' the workload...to test whether the system works...to see ways to improve the working environment..etc...however, sometimes I think it is a waste of time. It adds up to the workload...to the already 'overloaded' work...and sometimes I can't be bothered thinking about it.

However, having said that, I do intend to put my perception aside and just go on with it and try to see it through to its completion. I intend to put my 'negativity' aside and try to be more professional.

Of course I realize that this will be a challenging task..and there will be days when my negativity will 'dominate' me...however, that's my aim for 2010. Insyallah.

Anyway, its late..so m off to bed.

xxx

2010-01-18T18:47:00.001Z

Holiday-ing :)

After nearly 21 months of working..I finally get to enjoy my first mandatory leave...yayy to me :)

One week is gone and now one week left...I havent been doing much except 4 hrs trip to Miri, 3 days di Kuala Belait and the rest of the time di Limau Manis :)...hence, tomorrow I'll be off to KK for 4 days.

I just plan to chill and relax without doing much shopping..which I think is a wise thing to do since I like to believe that I am on a 'budget holiday'..;p and my ankle is still semi-swollen as I sprained it last week. hehe. I thought it would be better by now. but today as I was out with Ms Y for a few hours..I felt it tightening and a bit painful..so lets hope I will be able to walk around to cuci mata..hehehe.

Anyway, I managed to booked a hotel along the waterfront and it only cost me not more than B$300 for 4 nights and 5 days..I think thats a good deal. Perhaps its a budget hotel since it has no WiFi and its not inclusive of breakfast..which isnt a problem for me as I dont really eat breakfast anyways..hehe..lets hope the hotel isnt too bad.

One thing for sure is that I plan to go snorkeling..however, it all depends on the weather. Hopefully the weather permits..Fingers cross!!

xxx

p/s: It is now 2.48 am (19 Jan) however the timing shown below this post is different..anyone knows how to reset it?? I cant seem to do it.

2010-01-17T15:44:00.002Z

We Are Fortunate

Snapshots of random cases

Case 1 - between Me and W

ME : Karang pukul 2 kita bawa Ms. A ke Brunei Museum, Alat Alat Kebesaran dan Kg Ayer ah.

W : Muzium tau tu ku tapi apa kan Alat Alat Kebesaran ani? Di mana tu ah?

Even after sketching W a proper map with detailed markings pun W got lost driving.
I had to give me instruction (over the phone) while W drives.

Case 2 - between Me and X

ME: Karang patang kita bawa saya and Ms. B ke Bumbungan Dua Belas ah..

X : Dimana tu ah?

Once we arrive, oh...ada rupanya bangunan di sini ani.

Case 3 - between Me and Y

ME: Karang pukul 7 kita ambil kedia and bawa ia ke Centrepoint ah.

Y: Centrepoint? Dimana tu ah? Inda ku tau tu.

ME: Di gadong..sebelah hypermart

Y: Eh, takut tu sasat eh. Hypermart ani dimana?

I later found out that he only knows the place as Jaya as in Jaya Hypermart.

--------

Initially, I was surprised, wondered and questioned....how can a Bruneian not know what and where is the Royal Regalia?
And where is Centrepoint/Hypermart? Where Bumbungan Dua Belas is?...and this is only a few of the cases...

While I explained and drew the map (and yes, my map is correct..;p)..I really stressed to them how important it is to know the location of all these places and where to park...I mean how can u not know that theres parking spaces across the Royal Regalia???

Initially, in my head, I was like...'Astaga, cemana nie durang inda tau ani?' Inda kan inda tau???

Later on, once everything is done and as I lay my head on the pillow waiting to doze off...I reflected upon everyting that had happened during the day...

I find myself feeling sad...how can one not know the basic information and location of your own country? I mean its a different case if youre ignorant and if you forgot, but if you dont know...thats a different thing. my heart goes out to them.

We are fortunate. Sometimes I realized that unintentioanlly I can be selfish and take things for granted.
I forgot that not everyone is bless and as fortunate as others.
I forgot some are more blessed than others...while some have to learned the hard way.

I've mengusut and nagged about not being able to do get certain things, not able to save up a certain amount of $$ etc etc etc...but how about the others..who are less blessed and less fortunate?

How about those who have to survive with $500 a month while for others that is the amount they are paying for their car on a monthly basis..or to fulfill their hobbies / interest.

How about the people who are not able to be choosy and picky about what they eat because that is all they can afford?

How about families to have to stay and survive in very small, packed spaces while there are other families who enjoy more spaces than they can ever use sufficiently??

Well, this is just a reminder to self.

For me not to complain about life soo much when there are others who are far less fortunate

For me not to take things for granted

For me not to lose sight of things

For me to stay 'down-to earth' and nto be selfish

and for me not to judge others based on what they dont know.

These are all simple things in life..but it is very important and will make a huge difference.

Whether or not we are less or more fortunate than others, lets pray that we will see pass those differences and be given the strength to withstand challenges that comes our way. Amin!!

xxx

2010-01-13T13:43:00.003Z

Its been a good day :)

I woke up at 10am.
cleaned the room
swept the house
did laundry

I should say doing housechores have been quite relaxing and refreshing especially when im not rushing against time and everyone around were relaxed :)

I even take the time and effort to straighten my hair...only to be spoiled by the rain...it went freezy again. so I thought ok lah, alang alang...so I just went to unload the rubbish (i was initially planning to wait till the rain to stop).

Anyway, had late lunch di Swensen with my beau and had a relaxing conversation.

Went to qlap to buat jeans (finally!!) I remembered my last jeans tore during rehearsal for Ibu's 60th birthday...hahaha.

And what else can u do when its raining except cruising around and thats exactly what we did..:)

I finally, had a glimpse of the Mangrove Paradise Resort. it doesnt look too bad. On the way in, I could see the fish farm where people can go fishing. The resort was all lit up and I could say there were more than 15 cars at the parking lot.

Should try the food there next time.

And I also got a surprise from the beau. I got a rose :) Its been ages since I received one...I love it ;p

-the end-

xxx

2010-01-12T15:44:00.001Z

YOU...

LEAVE ME ALONE!!

STOP SEARCHING FOR OTHERS MISTAKES..

TAKE A MOMENT...

AND LOOK AT YOURSELF.

SIGNING OFF,
ME...
REPRESSING ANGER!!

2009-12-31T02:17:00.001Z

2010 – PART ONE

As we are approaching the end of 2009, I’m starting to think what 2010 holds for me.

After all the roller-coaster rides since 2007, I do hope 2010 is going to be a good and better year for my families, ME, my love life, my social life, and lastly of course, my work life. Amin!!!

I guess if I have to describe 2009 in one word, it has been a ‘DISCOVERY’ year.

This is the year I discovered the following:

• I have one or two or three….good, reliable friends… Thank God I have them around :)

• I have a temper…especially when I want to. It reminds me of M.

Her temper comes and goes quickly. Like this temper I am experiencing: Sometimes it scares me. Sometimes it’s a weird feeling. Sometimes it’s funny. Sometimes I get so angry that I forgot why was I angry in the first place…don’t you think that is weird??

• The older I get, the less patience I am…;p

• I dislike restrictions.

I discover a new and different kind of Love.

• I cannot stand high-pitched voice…like seriously, a no-no.

• I learned that at work and in life, no matter how good you are to people…and how much effort you put into the things you do (for yourself or for others), there are bound to be a few people who just CANNOT be pleased.

• Most people are unappreciative of what they already have and are constantly chasing the things they cannot have.

• I am still as indecisive as ever… ;p

• I had my first taste of delicious LOBSTERS while I was in China. I never ever dream of tasting them. However, I had no choice when I was in China…plus it smells and looks delicious ;) and yes, it was delicious.

After 2 – 4 lobsters over 2 days, I think I had allergy reactions few days after that. I couldn’t feel the tip of my tongue for a couple of days. I can’t think of other logical explanations except for that. Lol.

• I seriously procrastinate.

• I love babies.

• I have poor SELF-MANAGEMENT skills.

• I was told that I am a lil bit toooo friendly…hence I must work to be more serious.

• I hate public speaking.

• I was told that I put other people’s needs too much ahead of mine. Thus I need to learn to put my needs first before others.

But I’m like thinking…’How do I do that’? ...*still thinking*

• And the list goes on and on and on….will add up more to the list soon… ****

THINGS TO WORK ON IN 2010

REPRIORITIZE

FOCUS ON TIME MANAGEMENT

DO NOT LET WORK RULE MY LIFE

MAKE MORE TIME FOR ‘SELF’ / FAMILY

POLISH MY PRESENTATION SKILLS

WORK ON MY CONFIDENCE

SAVE UP

BE MORE ORGANIZE

DON’T SAY ANYTHING IF I HAVE NOTHING BETTER TO SAY

TRY TO EXERCISE AND BE HEALTHY

AIM TO REACH MY TARGET BY THE END OF 2010 ;)

--- MORE TO COME ---

XXX

2009-12-14T01:30:00.001Z

Crime Investigation

I am watching crime investigation now.

Case 1

A man killed his wife and buried her 3 feet underground. When the police came around and was searching for his wife's body, he was sitting in the kitchen eating his spaghetti.

When the police found the body of his wife, he said how did u managed to find her...while eating his spaghettti.

And when the police wanted to bring him in for question....he said he wants to finish off his spaghetti first before they bring him.

Im amazed!!!

Case 2

A woman drowned her very young kids...not 1, but all the 7 of them.

Police: Why did you drowned them?

Woman: ...so that God will still accept them while they are young.

Police: Why did you say that?

Woman: they are naughty and disrespectful...disobedience.

Police: Example?

Woman: When her mother in law (the kids granny) comes to visit them, they will call her names and doesnt listen.

Thus she wants them to go...before they grow up and go to hell.

Scary huh...

xxx

2009-12-06T09:25:00.003Z

..Just thinking...

How can one be soo unappreciative? Its amazing how just by doing one mistake, all the other good things you have done = erased.

Maybe its human nature...greediness...wanting all to oneself....wanting everything to be perfect..
when that person isnt perfect at all...

Its amazing how one can never be satisfied with the things that they have. Sometimes, its to the point of being 'inda bersyukur' di atas all the nikmat given. Sad to say, but its reality.

Cant a person just be happy with what he/she already has?

Cant a person just accept that not everyone is as motivated/hardworking/'purrfect' as the others?

What u want doesnt mean the other person wants it as well...
the things that makes u happy does not necessarily makes another person happy...

Stop judging people....it doesnt make u perfect.

Just imagine if ur 'nikmat' is pull away from you...
how would u sustain life as the way it is currently?
How can u survive when u r not even thankful of ur present state?
And how would u feel if people start judging u...based on that??

Nauzubillah...lets pray that Allah will keep our pintu rezeki wide open..and remind us to be thankful.

Amin!!

xxx

2009-11-19T14:27:00.003Z

She saw herself on my laptop

Look at it and continued eating her porridge

Look again and saw herself

Climbed up the sofa

Crawl slowly and closer

still inda puas hati...

move in closer to investigate...

Curiousity is good!!

2009-11-19T14:09:00.002Z

ILIA, UBD

I am currently attending a 2 weeks course/workshop at the Institute of Leadership, Innovation and Advancement (dont quote me on this but if my memory serves me right, that is what its call) at UBD.

The building is new and nice..has contemporary concept and hopefully it will be well maintain and not be 'run-down' like certain parts of UBD..;p

Theres 80 of us in total and so far its been interesting especially the first two days when we were talking about Leadership. The third and fourth day is so-so as we covered the module on Strategic Thinking.

I am looking forward for Saturday and Monday as the module will be about Financial Management...:)..to be delivered by one of the lecturers from FBEPS, UBD.

Being here...makes me miss being a student. I wish I can be one...however, work is one of the phases of life we have to go through...so I have to make the best out of it since I don't know how long I will be capable of staying in the workforce - mentally and physically - but hopefully murah rezeki.

Anyway, I wont go on about it. Maybe I will write more about it in my next post..;p

xxx

2009-11-10T07:54:00.004Z

Begin ur days with coffee...

Nothing beats that...;)

xxx

2009-11-08T17:26:00.003Z

Why do we have to please everyone..when they dont seem to care to reciprocate and take ur feelings into account?

I dont think I have the answer to this one.

its like...can you do this for me? i said ok.

can you pls take this to bla bla bla? i said ok.

but when it comes to my turn....

can you this for me? ok...(but it never gets done)

get me this pls...ok...but its never there.

it makes it harder for me to rely on people.

I feel that I always care about others feelings...

but when it comes to mine, who cares???

so why do I have to decide on things to please others??

tell me coz i dont understand.

xxx

2009-11-06T15:33:00.006Z

A new beginning???

Working life has not been that great.. a small office with soo many untold stories..unwanted politics..unwelcomed backstabbing.. and the demotivation experience every few months doesnt help either.. and on top of that, I discovered that one of my colleagues has been gossiping about me.. stuffs that are not true of course; however I guess I am 'surviving'.

Perhaps time will 'heal' all..?? hopefully.

Anyway, we have a new girl, our Senior Research Officer (SRO) who will head our unit. She is heavily pregnant and will be with us for atleast three weeks before she goes on her maternity leave.

She is soft spoken and seems interested to know about our role and function in the Ministry. She seem interested to want to hear it from us first before she meets BOSS on Monday. She expressed ideas that are somehow similar to ours (my colleague and I) which is good..and she voice out changes that she might want to introduce once she 'settle down' which will most probably be early next year.

So fingers cross...hopefully things will turn out for the better..and perhaps a new beginning for our unit. Aminnnn!!

xxx

2009-10-27T04:34:00.003Z

We, the female species, are special...just read the following I extracted online. Isn't it great to be created for this purpose? I certainly think so.

Woman was made from the rib of man
She was not created from his head to top him
Nor from his feet to be stepped upon
She was made from his side to be close to him
From beneath his arm to be protected by him
Near his heart to be loved by him

Malay Translation

Sesungguhnya wanita dijadikan dari rusuk kiri lelaki
Dia bukan dicipta dari kepala ke kaki
juga bukan dari tapak kaki
Wanita dicipta dari sebelah kiri rusuk lelaki
supaya dia hampir kepada kamu (lelaki)
lengan lelaki dicipta untuk mempertahankan wanita
dekat dengan hati lelaki untuk disayangi.

2009-09-01T17:00:00.003+01:00

This is hilarious guys...saw it on youtube last month...been hooked on it since...
obviously the guys in this video was really bored at work..haha..enjoy ;)

xxx

2009-08-23T18:53:00.003+01:00

…

There are certain things in life that you can’t and shouldn’t return to…and sometimes these are the things you missed the most. You don’t talk about it but it’s always at the back of your mind. You don’t talk about it but certain things / places/ people just remind you of it.

At this moment, I miss the presence of ____ . I don’t talk about it as much as I think I cope better without talking about it. When you talk…it makes you think more…and the feedback you get might make you think more deeply. But if you keep it to yourself, although you think about it…but because there are no feedback, then you keep on burying it in…deeper and deeper. And atleast you move on without people saying…’ eh, u said bla bla bla…etc etc.

It is hard to resist the urge not to remain in touch…to drop a text…or an email…especially when details of ____ are laid down in front of you. However, sometimes you have to remind yourself not to fall back into that path after repeatedly being sucked in…with no positive result.

It makes me wonder what is it do I miss so much about ____?
Why do I believe there is still hope though it is clear there is none?
Why do I keep on looking back at it though I have taken huge steps forward?

I have to admit sometimes it does not help me at all when people inform me random updates related to ____. Of course there are times I want to know what is up / happening though there are times when I rather resist the temptation. And when I am given random updates about ____, it is easier to reserve you thoughts and feelings about it and reply with short and quick answer.

There are times when I wish we are still in touch…there are times when I wish ____ would surprise me with a call…an email…a text… though that would be like digging my own grave.

Anyway, despite whatever…I will remain silent as this is the best way I know I can cope. Talking does not necessarily solve it. It just complicates things especially when those around you claim their way is the most ideal way of dealing with things. It complicates things in your heart and head. It adds up to your worry. It makes you feel unsure and guilty…and that is the last thing you want.

For now, I guess the best thing is to hold on, be patience, pray and it will go away eventually, if not now.

Mantra of the day: When things do not go your way…when things we like / love is taken away from us, there might be something better in store for us.

xxx

2009-07-10T05:38:00.003+01:00

...

We had a meeting tadi discussing various issues and challenges we are facing as a deparment.

Then come to logistics and our monthly collection...ada tia issue sabun siapa yang mesti order..and this sabun is to be place in every single toilet..then come the issue of 'inda kana layan' by the department who is responsible to respond to our request for sabun and all the other things..

sabun punya pasal voices are raised to the point of sakit telinga...i literally had to place one of my fingers into my left ear to minimize the impact of their "shouting voice"..each wanting their point to go across and each wanting the other to agree with their way...

then ada tia the issue pasal pangkat...its amazing huh?..i was certainly amazed how one can be so 'hierarchical' in their head..hmm..

more issues about..coffee break and money issue..and setting up a new fund khas for sedekah and charity purposes and atu pun no one can agree on the amount to be given.

One of them wants it to be institutionalise and each of the staffs must pay according to their salary scale and me and some others wants to have a tabung sedekah where it is there and its up to us to masukkan berapa kami mau...which i believe fits the purpose of sedekah and megikut keikhlasan hati..in the end, the agreed price is $3 minimum every month.

Everyone agreed to this..so its fine...as long as its not institutionalize as i personally think it bets the purpose of sedekah. Mind you..our monthly collection for our coffee break everyday sudah mengikut our scale gaji.. imagine having two tabung that we have to pay according to our scale?? ngalih saja buat dua kali kerja to audit it every month...

Anyway, the point is...we are a small department and yet everyone cant seem to agree..imagine a bigger group...which might be a disaster if sorang sorang with their PL (hehe...a word Ive learned since working..hehe)

basically the word to describe work = CHAOTIC!!!

xxx

2009-07-09T01:22:00.001+01:00

Which one should it be?

xxx

2009-07-06T05:15:00.003+01:00

I want to move out!!

I cant seem to motivate myself here and be enthusiastic about the things I do.

Everything just seems so wrong here..

the atmosphere...environment...etc...etc...etc...

my brain cells seems to be shrinking in size..

zero productivity...zero creativity...zero motivation...

but I'm feeling 120 percent of the negativity around me...

ppl being unhappy...demotivated...not wanting to do anything...but talk talk talk...

sounds so dramatic, I know...

but thats how I've been feeling..

need to go away!!

xxx

2009-07-04T17:39:00.002+01:00

Another quiz..;)

Your Working Style

You have a great deal of warmth, but may not show it until you know a person well. You keep your warm side inside, like a fur-lined coat. When you are care, you care deeply, but are more likely to show your feeling by deeds rather than words. You are very faithful to duties and obligations related to things or people you care about.
You take a very personal approach to life, judging everything by your inner ideals and personal values. You stick to your values with passionate conviction, but can be influenced by someone you care deeply about. Although your inner loyalties and ideals govern your lives, you find these hard to talk about. Your deepest feelings are seldom expressed; your inner tenderness is masked by quiet reserve.

In everyday activities you are tolerant, open-mind, flexible, and adaptable. If one of your inner loyalties is threatened, though, you will not give an inch. You usually enjoy the present moment, and do not like to spoil it by rushing to get thing done. You have little wish to impress or dominate. The people you prize the most are those who take the time to understand your values and the goals you are working toward.

You are interested mainly in the realities brought to you by your senses, both inner and outer. You are apt to enjoy fields where taste, discrimination, and a sense of beauty and proportion are important. You have a special love of nature and a sympathy with animals. You often excel in craftsmanship and the work of your hands is usually more eloquent than words.

You are twice as good when working at a job that you believe in, since your feeling adds energy to your efforts. You see the needs of the moment and try to meet them. You want your work to contribute to something that matters to you-- human understanding, happiness, or health. You want to have a purpose beyond your paycheck, no matter how big the check. You are a perfectionist whenever you deeply care about something, and are particularly suited for work that requires both devotion and a large measure of adaptability.

The problem for you is that you may feel such a contrast between your inner ideals and your actual accomplishments that you may burden yourself with a sense of inadequacy. This can be true even when you are being as effective as others. You take for granted anything you do well and are the most modest of all the types, tending to underrate and understate yourself.

It is important for you to find practical ways to express your ideals; otherwise you will keep dreaming of the impossible and accomplish very little. If you find no actions to express your ideal, you can become too sensitive and vulnerable, with dwindling confidence in life and in yourself. Actually, you have much to give and need only to find the spot where you are needed.

----
Suitable careers:
artist
beautician
botanist
carpenter
clerical worker
computer operator
counselor
dancer
dental and medical assistant
designer
dietician or nutritionist
factory worker
food service worker
forester
gardener
geologist
marine biologist
mechanic
nurse
occupational therapist
optician
physical therapist
police officer
recreation leader
secretary
teacher
veterinarian or assistant

WHICH ONE DO YOU THINK WOULD SUIT ME BEST? ;)

---xxx---

2009-07-04T17:21:00.002+01:00

...Tried a few online quizzes...

GETTING TO KNOW MYSELF BETTER.

Your view on yourself:
You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You are not looking merely for a girl/boyfriend - you are looking for your life partner. Perhaps you should be more open-minded about who you spend time with. The person you are looking for might hide their charm under their exterior.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:
You like to flirt and behave seductively. The opposite sex finds this very attractive, and that's why you'll always have admirers hanging off your arms. But how serious are you about choosing someone to be in a relationship with?

Your views on education
Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:
You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:
You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of:
You are afraid of having no one to rely on in times of trouble. You don't ever want to be unable to take care of yourself. Independence is important to you.

Who is your true self:
You are full of energy and confidence. You are unpredictable, with moods changing as quickly as an ocean. You might occasionally be calm and still, but never for long.

2009-07-04T17:08:00.002+01:00

I was browsing through my posts...and there were a few unpublished post. One of it is as shown below:

Normally..

I would be ok if things doesnt go as planned...

I would be more laid back...

more reserved...

keep my thoughts to myself...

have more patience...

more of a good listener...

more content with things...

accepting of things around...

But NOW...

I get easily annoyed with things...

dont understand why ppl like to complicate things...

I get depressed...

Im easily turned off...

angry...

say things without thinking...

***end***

I was surprise to read this as I dont remember this particular entry dated 9 December...however, everything is fresh now in my mind as I was trying to recall why I was feeling that way..hmm..let bygones be bygones.

---xxx---

2009-05-22T00:55:00.000+01:00

2009-05-06T15:54:00.000+01:00

I visited a dear friend of mine today after the Maghrib prayers. She has just given birth to a cute baby boy a few weeks ago…it’s her 4th child. It seems like yesterday when we were having fun at the university…reading and doing work together…chilling at the parking lot killing time before we head home…participate in the same activities…slept over at Kuala Balai…went to Miri and visited Gua Niah…and the list goes on and on  Time flies so fast…and now we are heading towards the big 30.

What am I talking about and why am I talking about this?? I have no idea. There was only one thing in my head as I was driving back to my grandma’s place...

I’m 29 and single…while my friend is approaching 30 with 4 kids…
I don’t even know who I will end up with…
How many kids will I have…
Will I be happy…

While all these questions are normal…it kinda scares me that Im thinking about this… I don’t think I am prepared for the responsibility and the ‘till death do us apart’… ;)
but at the same time, it will be an interesting chapter to venture into…

Anyway, I better go now before more nonsense gets out of me…lol…plus my eyes are too heavy…need to go to bed.

xxx

2009-04-27T15:04:00.007+01:00

I LOVE NOTEBOOKS

I just switched on my laptop and was about to take my notes out to type...then I realize, I have lots of notebooks. I simply love them...at the moment, I have 4 with me at home..and surprisingly Ive been carrying it to work and back from work..no wonder my bag is heavy!!

And Ive been trying to count how many more I have at work...I think after I gave away one of it to my aunt last week, I have 3 more at work. hehe.

Sequence L to R: From Lee Kuan Yew's Memorial Lecture, Office, Kak Lin and Azedah :)

Oh..and one more thing...this is my present from kak mel...she 'hand-made' it. Another one to my collection of notebooks..yay..Lawa ah..:)

Thanks kak mel :)

Come to think about it...I have always have lots of notebooks and some of it remains empty for years...especially during my primary school years at St. George. But this time I intend to make sure all the books are efficiently use :) except for the one I got from Kak Mel..that is far too lawa to be written on..maybe in a few years time ;p

Conclusion: What can be a better way to explain..why I have lots of notebooks other than to say that I am in love with notebooks.

xxx

2009-04-21T04:10:00.001+01:00

This is an email received from Bungsu. Read on...:)

Effectively Coping with Anger

By: Grant Kono, LCSW

Anger is generally the most self destructive emotion that you feel. This is because it’s an emotion focused on action. If you are not acting on the anger, then you are thinking about acting on the anger or hoping that someone else will act on the anger.

Anger always comes from a feeling of being oppressed, victimized, of boundaries being violated. The feeling can be felt personally or it can be observed to happen to someone else or to a group of people and then the feeling becomes personalized.

Although anger is an emotion that tends to be impulsively acted upon, it is actually a feeling that requires other emotions in order to be experienced. Anger always has the elements of anxiety and frustration at work. These emotions are usually harbored for some time before the emotion of anger arises. There is usually a triggering event or events from which the anger originates. Most often, there are a number of unresolved experiences prior to the triggering event(s) where these emotions are generated that are also involved. The experiences may be centered on a theme or general situation.

How Anger Arises

You may think that anger tends to come out of the blue, that you are generally a calm, rational person. What is more often the case is that you learn to live with a certain amount of suppressed anger, often kept at bay by addictive behaviors. Every once in awhile the amount of anger that you normally feel, and are normally capable of managing, is increased by an event, causing you to need to vent the extra anger that you now cannot manage, much like a pressure cooker venting steam. Once the excess anger is vented, you will probably go back to your normal routine, feeling like that anger was uncharacteristically felt and so most likely not your fault. When looking for who’s at fault, blame is placed outward, like the person who cut you off on the freeway, your boss, your wife, your kids, your car, etc.

Feeling Oppressed/Victimized

The problem with this feeling of victimization is that when you have the belief that this feeling of anger does not originate in you, there is no longer a reason to change the feeling in you. Instead, this feeling of oppression always means that there is someone or something oppressing you. And so the responsibility for your emotion is projected onto someone else. Now that your anger is someone else’s fault, there is no reason to confront your feelings. The action that you will take, or at least want to take, is to change that person or thing that you believe caused you to become angry.

The Angry Crusade

And so, the angry person goes on a never-ending crusade to right one wrong after another, not realizing that the anger is originating in him, and therefore trying to force people and situations to stop him from feeling angry. What you end up finding is that the crusade really is never ending. Once you force someone to stop making you angry you find someone else who makes you angry, and so you are on to another crusade. In the process, you force those people around you to your will or you force them out of your life. The people who are forced to your will must take on your belief that you were victimized by someone’s or something’s action or inaction, or to begin harboring their own feelings of oppression from you.

Making Others Responsible For Your Feelings

What you have really done is to make them become hyper-aware of your moods. This is necessary since the anger is almost always the last straw in a series of emotions and events nearly always spanning years, and so often difficult to pinpoint what the straw is or when it will next fall on the camel’s back. Since the people around you will never really be able to tell what the final straw will be, they become forced to monitor your emotions and to avoid any hot spots where they know you will become angry. In effect, what you have done is to make them responsible for controlling your anger. What you will unknowingly create are submissive and anxious people who will also begin to generate their own feelings of victimization and anger.

Chronically Suppressed Anger

People who chronically suppress their anger carry certain characteristics to their personality. They tend to have at least one addictive behavior, such as gambling, drinking, drugs, etc. They tend to be moody and cope with their moodiness by trying to feel happy, and also try to be around other people who they believe are happy. They try to keep their inner struggle with anger out of their awareness, as well as away from other people’s awareness. This struggle is a constant struggle and so the need to suppress their feelings and redirect their attention is also constant and tends to be impulsive, rising and falling with the tides of their inner struggle. Individuals who chronically suppress anger tend to find others who are going through similar struggles.

A Community of Anger

Individuals harboring anger find each other through their similar needs to engage in addictive activities, to make quick relationships that will help stem the tides of their moods, and who will understand their struggle because the other person is going through the same struggle.

Angry people usually do not have long term intimate relationships with each other, due to the volatility that is inherent in such a relationship. Instead, they tend to have angry friends who can support their feelings and behavior, while at the same time not constantly triggering each other, which they would be doing if they lived together. This supportive community often gets together to support each other’s beliefs of victimization and addictions, thereby unconsciously supporting each other’s underlying emotions that are causing these things in the first place.

Sustaining Anger

Anger is an emotion that is very easy for the mind to understand, but is very draining on the body. It causes you to want to run or fight, forcing the body to constantly release adrenalin, which becomes very taxing over the long term. Anger also doesn’t allow for positive feelings to flow. It is hard to want to retaliate toward someone when you’re feeling happy.

The mind’s response to this is to make you surround yourself with people and things that support your anger. You’ll find yourself listening to angry music. You will want to watch violent movies, and it might be a bonus if the hero in the movie is justified in being angry and acting out of his anger. You will perceive people and situations to be threats to you that someone without anger would not.

An interesting twist to anger is that you will begin to become aware of the destructive potential that you have should you act out of your anger. You will begin to project this potential onto other people who are angry, and begin to be anxious and hyper-aware of them, just as you have forced other people to become hyper-aware of you.

The Value of Anger

Is anger a bad thing? Yes and no. It is like the exhaust from a car. Does the exhaust pollute? Yes. Can I run my petroleum-fueled car without making exhaust? No. Are there other types of fuel that can be used that do not have this exhaust? Yes, and car manufacturers are slowly looking to alternative types of fuel. Ultimately, I do not believe that there is a place for anger in a society. However, the people in the society must reach a certain level in their emotional evolution to stop their own anger. Anything that you can do when angry, you can also do when calm and focused. Only when you are calm and focused you will have more options to you and you will be more in control of your actions. Anger will put blinders on you. It will force you into believing that you have only a few options, if that many.

That being said, anger also gives a person the motivation and courage to establish and maintain emotional boundaries. These boundaries are important for the continuing evolution of that person. But at some point the anger must be dropped in order to continue evolving emotionally. Like the example above, at the point we are in our evolution of fuel sources, we need petroleum in order to power many things. However, the exhaust is polluting our air, and has come to a point to where many people believe that long-term damage to our planet will happen if we do not reduce our use and find alternative fuel sources. In that same way, we must find alternative ways to look at ourselves and others that do not cause anger. In so doing, we will find alternative fuel, or emotions, in ourselves besides anger.

Why Do We Have Anger?

Anger is the normal evolution of our suppressed emotions. If you were to take the need to act on your anger away, it would simply indicate to you that you have anxiety and frustration built up in your body, and that it is now being funneled into anger by your belief that you are being victimized.

What Do I Do When Something Makes Me Angry?

Stop believing that something or someone else has made you angry. Start realizing that this person or thing has only triggered a feeling of victimization that you have set yourself up for by allowing unresolved feelings of anxiety and frustration accumulate. Start confronting your emotions. This does not mean that you have to stay in a certain situation. Rather, it means that you must calmly and rationally evaluate the situation(s) in your life that are causing anger, how they are benefiting you, hurting you, triggering your anger, your own role in the situations, and then decide what course of action, if any, to take.

No. I mean, what do I do right now when something makes me angry?

Unplug yourself from the person or the situation. When you feel angry, you will also feel plugged in. You will feel plugged into feeling victimized, plugged into wanting to retaliate, plugged into needing to start a course of action soon, if not immediately, the course of action often being aggressive.

The simplest, most direct answer to this is to unplug yourself. Walk away, take time out to clear your head. Don’t stay in the immediate situation and try to reason your way out or reason the situation out when your anger has been triggered. Step away from the person, the situation. In doing so, you will symbolically begin to step away from your anger and the beliefs associated with it. But this is only the beginning.

Anger is an emotion that usually takes years, or at least a number of unresolved experiences, to develop. It almost always has a number of attitudes and behaviors accompanying it in order to keep it in place. So the process of untangling your ball of anger will also take time.

The Place of Shame and Guilt

Unchecked anger can be a gruesome thing to observe, and certainly to experience. Adrenalin fuels anger. An angry person can become addicted to this feeling of adrenalin and the extra power flowing through his body, and so the destruction and impulsive actions that he is capable of can become addictive as well. One of the elements that people who constantly commit aggressive acts toward others have is anger. One of the elements that they lack is shame or guilt for their actions, allowing them to act on their angry feelings again and again.
All societies use shame and guilt in order to control their populace. It is probably one of the reasons why we haven’t killed ourselves off as a species. It would be wonderful if we all could have respect, empathy and compassion for all beings, but that takes a certain level of emotional and social maturity that is not always reached by people.

Instead, we are instilled at an early age of the sense of right and wrong, and of being good or bad people depending on our actions. While some people talk about the problems with guilt and shame, these are necessary emotions to feel until you can rise above these and begin feeling respect, empathy and compassion for others.

What do I do if I really want to get rid of these angry feelings?

The Active Work

First, realize that this process is going to be a long haul. It will most likely take years of concerted effort.

Take complete responsibility for your anger. That doesn’t mean that you need to stay in a situation that makes you angry, or that you shouldn’t address the situation to change it. It means that the emotion of anger that you are feeling is completely yours. You unconsciously set yourself up to feel angry by allowing an accumulation of anxiety and frustration to develop. Then you unconsciously allowed situations to arise that would make you feel victimized. It is like unconsciously putting a chip on your shoulder and then feeling victimized when someone knocks it off.

Begin making a note of every time that you feel angry. As you do this more often you will realize that you become angry far more often than you realized.

Begin making a note of every time that you feel frustrated and your frustration turns to anger.

Begin making a note of how often you feel anxious. You probably feel some level of anxiety most of the day.

Begin observing all the ways that your lifestyle, behaviors, and attitudes support this feeling of anger. What friends, family, associates also feel angry?

Now begin to make changes in your life. You must make a conscious decision that you will not act or think out of anger. Notice that this isn’t to say that you will not feel anger, or that it will not be a part of your life for a long time. Instead you are choosing to think and act in ways that are not influenced by your anger.

You must begin taking away the things and people who support your anger. Sometimes this means simply changing the way you interact with others, but most often it means leaving certain lifestyles and people behind.
Next, begin associating with others who support a life without anger. Have you noticed that these are all actions? None of these things have to do with changing your emotions. That’s the hard part. You can do all the things up to this point and have a lot of tools in order to begin removing anger from your life. If you want to get to the root of the problem, then read on.

The Emotional Work

Here comes the hard part. Begin to forgive yourself for being angry. Even though you might not realize it now, your anger is part of an unconscious coping mechanism that the human psyche has learned to adapt in order to help you survive. However, you must realize that there are better ways to respond to situations than to become angry. You must believe that there is always a better way to respond to a situation than to become angry, to feel that you are a victim.

Work at forgiving others for their part in triggering your anger. Begin to believe that these people struggle with their emotions on a daily basis, just as you do. It can be difficult to come to a realization of this, but you can trust that they struggle also.

Now you must begin feeling the pain and hardship that you brought upon others due to your behaviors. Anger rarely just effects those directly involved. There are often emotions felt by third parties on both sides of any conflict. You don’t necessarily have to seek out every person and ask forgiveness, but you need to contemplate on how many people you may have impacted in a negative way by your actions. This is one of the ways that you will begin to gain awareness of the impact that actions, both positive and negative, have on those around us and on society itself.

Finally, you need to go back into your memory and begin to unearth those experiences where you began the seeds of feeling victimized, feeling frustrated, feeling chronically anxious. They almost always go back to your childhood. If they do, look to see if there is a pattern that goes back generations to your parents, and their parents. One of the things that you may be doing is unraveling a pattern of dealing with your emotions that has gone on for generations.

Conclusion

Is the work hard? Is it tedious? Is it painful? Will you feel bad? Is it ultimately worth it? Yes to all. You will almost always need support on this journey. Avoid seeking help from those who are still plugged into old patterns that you are trying to shed. Seek out those who can show you compassion. Find others who are on the journey. Those people who have made significant progress on this journey are unusual. If you find someone like this, consider yourself lucky, and welcome whatever support this person can give you. If you need professional support, seek out a psychotherapist who understands where you are and who you are comfortable with. If you believe in God, or another source of a higher power, seek Him/Her/It out. Above all, don’t give up. Realize that there will probably be a number of backslides on your journey of shedding anger. Learn to be gentle with yourself as you learn to be gentle with others, and take better and better care of yourself as you learn to truly participate in life and with others better and better.

2009-04-03T04:45:00.001+01:00

JEM JEM JEM

Today is Jem's nikah ceremony. I couldnt attend it as I am working..unless I rush off a lil early from work..perhaps around 4. That is not a bad idea..though I think its not gona happen.

Anyhow, wishing her all the best in the next stage of the life cycle..hehe..semoga bahagia till the end..stay in love and stay crazy as always. ;)

Once you are free, we should catch up on our Shisha session yang inda pandai menjadi jadi..haha.

Will try to turn up for your wedding once tercari dangan since NADZ wont be in the country at that time..;p

xxx

2009-04-03T04:36:00.002+01:00

..Full to the max..

Event: 2nd Anniversary of the Institute I'm working with

Though the boss is not in the country at the moment, we went on anyways...upon his request. Started off with doa selamat read by an Ustaz.

Menu:

Soto
the full package...lada rindu, hati buyah, daging, and all the other bits to it..

Lamb Chop ...yummy...

Shepherd's Pie...delicious...

Orange campur...

And now everyone is full..the guys are off to prepare for the Friday prayers..and I'll be off soon too.

Thinking of sending my kain to bejahit..need it for weddings to attend...and to look nice and presentable at work. hehe.

Ok then, I better go off now.

xxx

2009-03-25T03:52:00.003Z

Reminder of the day for myself:

- Be less critical of things. Just let it go.

- Try to ignore the judgemental people.

- Just try to do my best in whatever I am doing.

- Think positive.

xxx

2009-03-13T07:23:00.000Z

Updates:

I am tired

Been working on ‘a-not-so-important-paper’ for a month...It is dragging and becoming less significant as day passed. But I’m so glad it is finally over. I’m hoping that I won’t have to do another ‘teamwork’ paper in the near future. It is simply frustrating and de-motivating.

I was planning to buy an Acer laptop over lunch just now…only to find it is not currently in stock. I was also told that the shop will not be selling Acer anymore because they have been getting complains from their customers…most of the problem = the motherboard. They told me to buy DELL. Hmm. Something to think about since I never thought of buying DELL before today. Maybe I’ll end up buying that small Aspire One...it’s cute and will benefit me since I only need it to type and do research…while I contemplate on a better one. What say you?

Looking forward to have a weekend to myself

Looking for other ‘career’ opportunities…so far none with my qualifications have been advertised. Most were very specific such as electricians, engineers, and the list goes on. Hopefully there will be one or two opportunities for me soon.

Will write more soon

xxx

2009-02-19T15:38:00.002Z

I love this type of clips..

do u call it sketches...drawing..or...i dont know..anyway, its a very nice song..

enjoy :)

2009-02-15T14:41:00.002Z

Received this through an email and think its worth sharing. Most of us usually connect beauty with physical beauty. Having the "correct height and shape" is seen as a blessing and perfect beauty.

However, how many of us have think and evaluate beauty in terms of the points below?
I guess not many...so enjoy reading :)

xxx

Kecantikkan Lelaki

Kecantikan seorang lelaki bukan kepada rupa fizikal tetapi pada murni
rohani. Lelaki yang cantik,adalah:-

1) Lelaki yang mampu mengalirkan airmata untuk ingatan

2) Lelaki yang sedia menerima segala teguran

3) Lelaki yang memberi madu,setelah menerima racun

4) Lelaki yang tenang dan lapang dada

5) Lelaki yang baik sangka

6) Lelaki yang tak pernah putus asa

Kecantikan lelaki berdiri di atas kemuliaan hati. Seluruh kecantikan yang
ada pada Nabi Muhammad adalah kecantikan yang sempurna seorang lelaki.

Kegagahan Wanita

Kegagahan seorang wanita bukan kepada pejal otot badan,tetapi pada kekuatan
perasaan. Perempuan yang gagah adalah:-

1) Perempuan yang tahan menerima sebuah kehilangan

2) Perempuan yang tidak takut pada kemiskinan

3) Perempuan yang tabah menanggung kerinduan setelah ditinggalkan

4) Perempuan yang tidak meminta-minta agar di penuhi segala keinginan.

Kegagahan perempuan berdiri di atas teguh iman. Seluruh kegagahan yang ada
pada Khadijah adalah kegagahan sempurna bagi seorang perempuan.

2008-11-23T13:48:00.003Z

I am so ANNOYED...

I dont understand why some people, if not most, have a NEED to impose 'authority' over others.

Have the NEED to do things that only makes their lives, and the people around them, DIFFICULT!!

They are usually PERFECTIONIST TO THE POINT BEYOND LOGICAL AND RATIONAL THINKING...and expect others to do things the same way.

ACCEPT IT...people are different...each with their own ways of doing things...do things in the way they understand it better...and it is not NECESSARILY DONE UR WAY.

THERES NO PERFECT or IDEAL ways of DOING THINGS IN THE WORLD.

DONT IMPOSE THE WAY YOU ARE COMFORTABLE TO DO THINGS ON OTHERS!

THEY MIGHT UNDERSTAND THINGS BETTER AND ARE ABLE TO DO MUCH MORE IF THEY DO IT THEIR WAY...

XXX

2008-10-24T06:24:00.003+01:00

Something missing...

I am 28 years old. Im blessed with a big extended family..aunties, uncles and cousins whom some I dont even know their real names. Friends from all sorts of background and a number of good trustable friends. I have a good education and a job with a reasonable pay, and I am seeing someone.

So why is it do I feel like there's still something missing...as if theres a missing 'brick' in the whole wide puzzle? Why is it I still feel lonely?

Don't get me wrong...I am absolutely thankful for the blessings Ive been given...the opportunities that came my way...the silly mistakes that made me a stronger and perhaps a better person.

The only question is...why am I feeling the way I feel?

xxx

2008-10-20T15:49:00.003+01:00

My friend and I finally started our first day of what I call a 'permanent' or 'my never ending' attempt to lose weight and be fit...and oh my god!! Im so not fit!!! My friend said that if im not fit then i wont be able to reach the top of the first hill...which makes me feel better as I try to catch my breath at the top. lol. it means theres room for improvement..hehe.

So, may this be the beginning to whatever i dream of achieving...;p

xxx

2008-10-19T17:32:00.002+01:00

God's Boxes

I have in my hands two boxes,
Which God gave me to hold.
He said, 'Put all your sorrows in the black box,
And all your joys in the gold.'

I heeded His words, and in the two boxes,
Both my joys and sorrows I stored,
But though the gold became heavier each day,
The black was as light as before.

With curiosity, I opened the black,
I wanted to find out why,
And I saw, in the base of the box, a hole,
Which my sorrows had fallen out by.

I showed the hole to God, and mused,
'I wonder where my sorrows could be!'
He smiled a gentle smile and said,
'My child, they're all here with me..'

I asked God, why He gave me the boxes,
Why the gold and the black with the hole?
'My child, the gold is for you to count your blessings,
The black is for you to let go.'

So let's start focusing on our blessings and be grateful xxx

2008-10-16T11:17:00.003+01:00

We had a lecture series this morning for military personnels and civilians and followed by my first trip to the training institute at Penanjong in the afternoon for our guest to give lecture to the junior cadets. it was interesting especially at the training institute as the cadets were more enthusiastic to ask questions during the Q&A.

Anyway, now m killing time at Cheezbox before its time for me to bring the guest to our dinner venue. To drive all d way home would be alang alang..so this is the next best option.

And so I got time to sit and reflect on myself..(which ive been doing alot lately...and sometimes too much for my own liking..;p)

Anyway, these are the areas which I need to pay more attention:

1) to enhance my knowledge

2) and more important...to 'maintain' it in my head...meaning i have to work on my memory 'power' and work on lessening the eefectiveness of my 'built-in block system' or my 'autodelete' system..lol.

3)Time management - I believe I've improve compared to how I was back in April 2008. However, more need to be done in terms of dividing tasks and using my time efficiently...and all this goes back to my 'brilliant' speed to blocking and auto-deleting information in myhead.

4) If there s such a thing called 'Internal Anger Management Course' or something like that, then I ll need to join it.

5)and to work on my greatest weaknesses...:
a) my self confidence
b) my indecisiveness
c) my lack of enthusiasm for certain important things in life
d) on how I can easily get bored of things. I need to find something that will keep me interested for a long time.

Anyway, its nearly 7pm now..I have to go. to be continued... xxx

2008-09-22T07:30:00.001+01:00

Feeling better...

My head is heavy, my eyes are sleepy...but despite all that..I got a clearer idea and picture of my purpose of living and working..

May this feeling last..

xxx

2008-09-21T06:43:00.002+01:00

Brief Updates:

This month has been particularly busy...especially catching up and sungkai-ing out with friends whom I havent seen for ages. Its been fun...and I realize how much life have changed since my graduation back in 2005.

This is also the month where I am catching up with all the pending work as a result of my one month course back in June. It is not progressing as much as I wanted it to be..but it is moving towards that direction slowly.

Its my fourth month..and I am not enjoying work. I dont think the work suits me..or I suit being there. either way, despite months of giving it chances, I still fail to enjoy it. So, we'll see what I intend to do next...

Till my next post..xxx

2008-07-29T10:42:00.002+01:00

Article of the day

Was searching for an article for my work...then came across the interesting title...'saying what you don't do'. Couldnt helping myself...had to find out what the article is all about and I find it rather interesting as it is something that we can easily relate to.

Enjoy reading ;)

Saying what you don't do
Dr Khalid Sa'ud al-Hulaybi

Friday, July 25, 2008

RARELY do people live up to everything that they say. It is part of our human condition. Some of us almost always follow through with what we say, so that there is almost never a discrepancy between our words and deeds. Some of us act before we speak.

Some of us speak readily, then drag our feet when getting around to doing what we say we are going to do — but ultimately get it done.

There are those of us who mean what they say, sincerely, but never get around to doing it. Then there are those who nobody should bother waiting for them to do anything, because they never seriously mean to do what they say.

This is a logical breakdown of people with respect to their doing what they say. Some people might consider it too obvious to need mentioning.

However, more astute minds would have started pondering on this topic from the moment they read read the title. By the time they finished reading the introductory paragraph, they would feel some personal distress. This is what I intended.

As the old saying goes: "When a person takes himself to task, only then he becomes worthy of esteem."

We often say and do things without thinking. Then, worse still, we fail to evaluate our words and deeds. We never look at ourselves critically.

We might fall into the trap of heedlessness on one occasion. We might succumb to difficult circumstances on another. We might even fall into sin.

Allâh says: "It is most hateful to Allâh for you to say what you do not do." (surah al-Saff: 2-3)

People generally look positively on those who practice what they preach. This is why it is a compliment to call someone "a man of his word".

We look upon a doer differently than we do upon a mere "sayer". A doer is respected and trusted, someone you can do business with.

The glib talker, on the other hand, is looked down upon, distrusted, and his words are laughed at. We know there is no substance to what he says. A person who works is at the threshold of true satisfaction. If he makes work his habit, he will achieve it.

Philosophers have contemplated the meaning of Earthly happiness, but I have not found anything better or truer than: "Happiness is in achievement."

This definition of happiness approaches the concept from the angle of activity and productive work. We should most certainly plan out our efforts, but we should not waste all of our time in aimless planning.

I have seen so many cases where precious time is spent in holding consultations, mapping out objectives, and articulating dreams — but without any productive work ever coming of it.

Those who people take as role models — and those who set themselves up to be role models — are individuals whose lives are their deeds. If their deeds disgrace them, then they are truly disgraced — in their own eyes, in the eyes of society, and maybe even in the eyes of God. People are more comfortable with someone who is true to his word, even when that person makes a decision that is contrary to their interests. This is because they know where they stand with him, and they respect that.

Allâh tells us that the Prophet Syu'aib, peace be upon him, said to his people: "I wish not, in opposition to you, to do that which I forbid you to do. I only desire (your) betterment to the best of my power; and my success (in my task) can only come from Allâh. In Him I trust, and unto Him I look." (surah Hud: 88)

A person might stumble when he walks, but he is still better than someone sitting still. A person might fall when he runs, but he is still faster than someone who walks.

A ship at sea is in danger of sinking, but the ship was not made to stay in the harbour forever.Islam Today

2008-07-20T09:40:00.002+01:00

How and when?

When you are in a situation that seems to be stagnant and one sided. and when it seems like its YOU who has been doing all the hard work and effort to ensure it will work out fine..and work out according to plan.

When is it do we say enough?
How do we know its time to let go?
When should we let go?

I scared myself a few weeks ago when I said to myself that I am ready to let go. Then i just brushed it off.

I guess it is normal for us to fear the unknown and the new ones.

I have to sign off now...my thoughts are everywhere.

xxx

2008-06-20T18:13:00.002+01:00

Got this from a forwarded email...nice reading...
(except for the man's poem..lol)

A WOMAN'S POEM:

Before I lay me down to sleep,
I pray for a man, who's not a creep,
One who's handsome, smart and strong.
One who loves to listen long,
One who thinks before he speaks,
One who'll call, not wait for weeks.
I pray he's gainfully employed,
When I spend his cash, won't be annoyed.
Pulls out my chair and opens my door.
Massages my back and begs to do more.
Oh! Send me a man who'll make love to my mind,
Knows what to answer to
'how big is my behind?'
I pray that this man will love me to no end,
And always be my very best friend.

A MAN'S POEM:

I pray for a deaf-mute gymnast nymphomaniac with huge boobs who owns a
bar on a golf course, and loves to send me fishing and drinking.
This doesn't rhyme and I don't give a shit!

xxx

2008-06-15T14:35:00.002+01:00

GIANT

Finally, I made my way for the first time to GIANT yesterday for lunch. And it is true...its YELLOW YELLOW. Lol.

I didnt 'meronda' GIANT as I was starving. So I only stopped at the dim sum section. Hehe.

Maybe I can browse through the shops properly my second time round ;)

2008-06-08T04:56:00.002+01:00

This is what Ive been up to since 2nd June...a month after I started my job...and it will go on till 7th July.

And I have to say its been interesting and refreshing...a completely different environment compared to being at the office.

Wlll update with hopefully more pictures soon.

xxx

2008-05-23T11:08:00.002+01:00

CAN YOU BELIEVE IT!!!!

I am at the moment stuck and stranded inside my office.

WHY?

Apparently the main automatic door has been locked. And the supposedly security who should be guarding outside is nowhere to be seen.

Now...I have to wait for my colleague who will return to the office to collect his laptop and all. So what more enjoying that going online. lol.

I find this in a way funny...though I cant explain why. But I do hope I will be out of this building before maghrib...which is just in a few minutes. Hmm. Another unfortunate event!!

Anyway, we have finally move to our permanent seat..and my table looks 'naked'. I want to add a few character to it so that it wont be dull.

Let me list some of the things I will need:

- small shelf...the height of my divider...which will mean dua tingkat saja.
- a proper place to put my pen next to my desktop...I saw one di Serusop. It a figure of a cat putting its arm together. Lawa!! And cheap. lol.
- proper divider for my books and papers
- ?

What I want:
This is the interesting bit...hehe..not that I want much...a few saja.

- a tall plant...im thinking around 16inch...should be more or less the height of my divider to be place at the corner of my L shaped table. And im thinking maybe those small miniature bamboo would be nice.
- another plant...with colour...to be place next to my desktop.
- something that I can stick on my divider.. mayb family picture. or maybe I would like to keep my life private..;p

Thats all I can think of right now. I just want it to be simple and nice.

Since my colleague is not here yet......let me think of what to write. Hmm.
Here are some random things in my head.

A foreign doctor working in Brunei asked me why I never opted to take medicine. Seriously, I dont know why. Maybe it never occured to me. I dont even remember.

What I do remember...I wanted to be a forensic...then Im stuck with the idea of being an archaeologists. And now, I am completely doing a different thing. Its funny how our life always turn out to be different from our plans.

Anyway, my colleague is here now.

Got to go...dont want to be a prisoner for long...;p

xxx

2008-05-11T15:41:00.002+01:00

Rain rain go away.....

I made my way to the stadium...wore my socks and tied my shoes. Just after 5 mins of briskwalking, the wind was blowing hard and the clouds turns dark. Was soaking wet by the time I arrive back to my car. It rained on the day I decided to jog. How unfortunate!!

2008-05-10T15:41:00.004+01:00

Few updates

Been doing a lot of catching up session with *L*, a dearest friend of mine this week. Going to miss him a lot when he goes back to work to the other side of the world end of next week.

Work - its been 3 weeks. It will be the 4th week the coming Monday. Deadlines lining up but its been fine despite the pressure to catch up with time. Will probably move office as well next week ;)

Today - My first weekend where I had to go to work half day to get something done.

Then I had nasi ayam mango for lunch. Give it a try ppl at Happy Dean. Nyaman rupanya. Never heard of nasi ayam mango before until today. lol.

After lunch, went for a quick drink with L and discussed a number of issues around us. Learning more about him.

Then, I watched RUGBY live for the first time with Nadz. OMG! Some of them just ran into each other like nothing...so the smaller ones lah yang kesian. I called the opposing teams the 'bees and the ants'...haha..They actually terpelanting you know...like when we buang our bag on the couch. lol. I would love to see more of live RUGBY. Its a very different atmosphere when compared us sitting down infront of the TV. lol.

And now Im at home. Decided that my body needs rest though I have more plans up my sleeves. So im taking a few days break with more rest for my system. lol.

OK, thats it for now.

xxx

2008-04-09T18:29:00.004+01:00

Someone made me smile

A friend commented on my blog few hours ago while we were chatting..and it made me smile.

I've known her since my first year uni and I have to say that I never really know what my friends really think of me...after all these years. Most would say I'm nice, though I think I can be the complete opposite ;)

Anyway, she said...something along this line...

Btw, i like ur posts in ur blog sal the girls thingy. and the rest was cali..like apakan...i can imagine u writing them do n u know the look on ur face.

hm u may look sweet and innocent from the outside, mcm the type yang doesnt speak much mcm awu2 saja, biasa kan ayu..tapi once u open ur mouth..its like semua orang lari coz it fieryyy.. and powerful.

...the end...

Well, you know who you are..and thanks so much for the comments. Hehe. And yes, I take it as a compliment ;)

So...I'm wondering, do I get to hear anymore comments from the rest? ;p

xxx

2008-04-08T15:59:00.002+01:00

Trust your instincts!!

I was contemplating whether to use the Telanai road or just passed the Istana earlier today. Then I decided to passed the Istana as it is a more straight journey to go to Batu Besurat.

When I stopped at the traffic light at the Telanai junction, it randomly hit me that maybe there will be a road block today so I shouldn't drive fast. So I slowed down by a few double digits km/hr. But after passing few houses along Damuan, i just put off my feelings aside. And it was at that very moment that I saw two policeman sitting down on the grass with this black thing to catch the speed.

I quickly hit my brake and swear to myself after I realized they caught me. They looked and smiled when they understood my expression as I put my palms over my mouth or face. lol.

And of course a policeman stopped me a few minutes later and told me to go to the side.

Fortunately, I knew the guy who stopped me...and a few seconds later he realized that he knew me as well (thank god!!!)

He asked me why am I speeding. I was driving as fast as 85. And me..not knowing what to say...told him the truth...

'I am speeding coz I am late'

..and I've hit on my brakes so it was supposed to be 65..

He said ..we caught u 200m before u break.

I couldn't help laughing inside..thinking how stupid it was to tell them the truth.

Anyway, I promised him not to drive as fast along that road anymore.

Moral of the story:

Trust your instincts.

This is not the first time that I've pushed my instinct to the side where it bites me back..

xxx

2008-03-30T14:13:00.002+01:00

Interesting read...

THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN GROWN WOMAN AND A GIRL

Girls leave their schedule wide-open and wait for a guy to call and make plans.
Grown women make their own plans and nicely tell the guy to get in where he fits.

Girls want to control the man in their life.
Grown women know that if he's truly hers, he doesn't need controlling.

Girls check you for not calling them.
Grown women are too busy to realize you hadn't.

Girls are afraid to be alone.
Grown women revel in it-using it as a time for personal growth.

Girls ignore the good guys.
Grown women ignore the bad guys.

Girls make you come home.
Grown women make you want to come home.

Girls worry about not being pretty and/or good enough for their man.
Grown women know that they are pretty and/or good enough for any man.

Girls try to monopolize all their man's time ( i.e., don't want him hanging with his friends).
Grown women realize that a lil' bit of space makes the 'together time' even more special-and goes to kick it with her own friends.

Girls think a guy crying is weak.
Grown women offer their shoulder and a tissue.

Girls want to be spoiled and 'tell' their man so.
Grown women 'show' him and make him comfortable enough to reciprocate without fear of losing his 'manhood'.

Girls get hurt by one man and make all men pay for it.
Grown women know that that was just one man.

Girls fall in love and chase aimlessly after the object of their affection, ignoring all 'signs'.
Grown women know that sometimes the one you love, don't always love you back-and move on, without bitterness.

Girls will read this and get an attitude.
Grown women will read this and pass it on to other Grown women and their male friends. Do not go where the path may lead, go instead, where there is no path and leave a trail."

What do you guys think?

xxx

Yellow rose

2008-03-27T06:57:00.000Z

2008-03-20T12:50:00.002Z

I was browsing through random blogs when I came across this entry. I think it is an interesting entry made by 'Wearing Sunscreen'.

Hope you will enjoy it as much as I did.

The meaning of silence

Seller used to say to me that he never wore a watch because it nagged at him and reminded him that he was late. From this he deduced that all watches were female. This, amongst his many other idiosyncrasies, used to make me laugh.

Women nag. Apparently. Thing is we don't see it that way. To us it's discussing a problem. To us it's opening that discussion. Admittedly, not in the most conducive of ways, but really, generally when you've GOT to talk about something, it really bothers you so you're probably not going to be thinking how conducive your opening words are. It's unacceptable to pretend it never happened and hope it goes away. Women by nature are not Ostriches.

And men complain about this. However if we never nagged then nothing would ever get resolved. Men grumble about it like it's the worst thing in the world.
But it's not.

It's when she's silent that there is a problem. Because when a woman is silent it's because she just doesn't care anymore.

Contrary to what we were taught in primary school, the opposite of love is not hate. The opposite of love is indifference.

For as long as it matters to her to talk it out. For as long as she is trying to understand and to make you understand. For as long as she brings the matter up. That is how long YOU matter. For that period of time your thoughts, actions and feelings matter to her. They have a bearing on how she thinks and feels. They count.

But when she is silent, she has given up on you. When she is silent, it just doesn't matter anymore. When she is silent she has no more expectations of you.

When she is silent, YOU do not matter. She is indifferent.

So yes, the opposite of love is indifference.

2008-03-16T09:43:00.003Z

Pictures worth sharing

Took by a friend of mine when he went on a 'dolphin sighting' trip.

xxx

2008-03-07T16:57:00.001Z

Check this out….

Brunei - seen as one of the countries in SEA with high living standards, high literacy rates, low poverty rates and perhaps one of the most stable countries in the region. However, although the country is doing well, we can’t say the same about its society.

We are still expected to live our daily lives conforming to what is accepted…and staying away for the unacceptable and unimaginable (which is of course fine by me). I personally think our culture is beautiful and unique. But my problem is the fact that most people still feel and act like they ‘own’ others.

Society = intellectual, cultural, most with high purchasing power, sympathetic, religious, some are helpful etc etc etc...but unfortunately, some think too highly off themselves, selfish, N.A.T.O, vengeful, materialistic, ego, restrictive, etc etc.

Ok, I think I'm diverting away from my main point. lol.

Anyway, the point is....we are told to grow up, be independent and make your own choice. But still our lives are dictated and suppressed by insignificant others who thinks they are always right and never make mistakes…and who thinks our choice are always the unwise one.

I think we are free to make our own choice. No one can ever be sure on what is right and what is wrong. And no one can be sure whether what happens to A will happens to B. and what happens on Monday will happens on Tuesday. No one knows how tomorrow will unfold itself.

And though the choices we make might eventually be a mistake, then it is a risk we take and it is our own mistakes and not mistakes as a result of decisions made by others. We only have ourselves to blame if whatever path way we choose in life turns out to be a mistake. and the same applies if we let others dictate over us.

How can some people think very highly of themselves?
What makes them think they know what will happen in the future?
How can they be bigger than God? What makes them think that people can never change? One can never be so sure of what will happen in the future.
And what makes them so vengeful and unforgiving?
What makes them be so unforgiving when it comes to others but ‘weak’ when it comes to things that happens to her/him?

I don't think I'm making any sense here..so I will stop now. It is just something to ponder upon…

xxx

2008-03-04T16:58:00.000Z

This post was supposed to be publish like a mth ish ago... lol. totally forgotten about it.

'ideal body'

'You are fat'!!
'Your arms are flabby'!!
'You need to flatten your tummy'!!
'Your thighs are too big'!!
'You are big'!!
'You need to start losing weight'!!
'You need to start eating healthy'!!
'You look like that fat woman next door'!!
'Who is that fat girl / woman?'...bla bla bla...

How often do you hear people saying these things to you? How many of you are able to identify with these?? I bet a lot of you are able to. May it be from some simple remarks such as 'Have you gained weight?'...sarcastic ones...'U look healthy'...and to extremes ones.... many of us definitely experienced this situations once or uncountable times.

The idea of what is an ideal shape varies from culture to culture and each to its own taste. Some prefer skinny, petite ones while others prefer fleshy ones with bits and pieces to grab on.

Women are constantly pressurized to look good. From head to toe, from big to lil accessories, from left to right etc etc etc. And women often starves themselves, take diet pills, exercise excessively...in order to lose weight to meet her supposedly 'ideal weight'...or losing more weight till they are underweight..or till they see themselves as 'beautiful' in the mirror.

Family, peers and society...stigmatized obese woman. I mean what is the big deal? Big women...it doesnt mean they are not eating healthy foods...and for the skinny ones, it doesnt mean they are healthy.

Stop criticizing and lower ones' self esteem by making such remarks...like constantly. An individual knows when she/he is fat and unfit and needs to lose weight. Stop trying to focus on others weak points and stress them about it.

If you can't say it nicely, then don't say it at all. Whats the point anyway?

There are more things to talk about and look forward to. Infact there are more things to life....than being one of those people who constantly tries to achieve an 'ideal' shape.

It makes you less interesting when that is all you talk about.

Take a chill pill.

xxx

2008-03-01T16:21:00.012Z

Pics taken when we went to Miri a few weeks ago...

Not ready to pose...

Still not ready...

All set for a nice pose...

a very happy boy....found what he was looking for... 'coloured dinosaur eggs'..lol

lots of nice stuffs that I wish to buy...when the time comes..;p

xxx

2008-02-29T13:34:00.002Z

Opps!!

I just realized that I have accidentally published an entry thats not suppose to be posted just yet simply because I'm not done with it...lol...so I've deleted it of course..;p

Will write more next time.

xxx

2008-02-14T17:41:00.002Z

And yes, HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY to everyone who celebrates the V-Day.

xxx

2008-02-14T17:12:00.004Z

...

Initially, I signed in with lots of ideas to write and talk about. But now that I've signed in...nothing is flowing out of my mind. lol.

All I can say is...I am feeling better compared to my previous post. I've been spending my days reflecting and trying to understand why individuals behave and act the way they do.

Why do some people say things without thinking of the consequences of their words and actions beforehand?

Why do some people act so kind in front of others but....?

Is it fame, wealth that they are after; OR being seen as brave, cool and confident that they want OR are they just extremely deprived of attention that they can't seem to leave anyone in peace and just mind their own business??

It is a wonder.

Whatever it is, I will not let it bother me. If being B-chy and pretentious will get them to where they want to be, so be it. Whatever makes them happy.

I just have to make sure that I know what I want, prioritized my needs and work on to achieve it. Whatever makes me happy.

This post is not reflecting on anyone in specific...just thinking out loud randomly.

Goodnight and have a good weekend.

2008-02-05T14:33:00.000Z

TOO MUCH DRAMA

Anyone who really understands me know that I TRUTHFULLY HATE DRAMAS!!!! lebih lebih lagi drama queens.

So much had happened in the past few weeks. Initially it was excited and interesting. And after the outcome of the 'event'; and when the drama starts to appear, things get kind of less-exciting from my point of view.

I am no longer interested in 'it' as I was initially..no matter how much effort I put in and knowing that I would have enjoyed it.

I am now tired of hearing so many different versions of the same thing from random unreliable 'THIRD PARTIES' and whatever it is that may pleased that person; topped with cheeries, whipped cream and a dash of hershey's chocolate to add extra buzz to the 'drama script'.

May all of you who have contributed to the drama scripts one way or another be SUCCESSFUL directors!!

Go continue your script!!!!

2008-01-12T14:54:00.000Z

Out of boredom...

Was browsing the net and came across an interesting website...so decided to take a commitment test.

My score: 50.

What does your score mean?

According to this quiz, you are rather hesitant to take the plunge. Though you might be very much in love with your partner, there are some things keeping you from giving it your all. Maybe your relationship is a "late bloomer" and things will advance when the time is right. Maybe you just aren't ready yet. Or maybe you have some nagging doubts in the back of your mind that might be worth exploring. The most important thing to remember is to keep the lines of communication open-it is important that the two of you are on the same commitment wavelength.

WHAT I THINK OF THE ASSESSMENT??

Based on what I've experienced, this is quite true. I am not yet willing to take anything on to a serious level no matter how in love I might be. I have my reasons..and intent to keep it to myself ;)

If I have taken this quiz back in..hmm..let me think..back in 2004/2005, I think my assessment result would be way different. I think back then I will have a higher commitment level compared to now ;) However, I guess my priorities and the way I look at things have changed tremendously over the years.

Nywy, if you are interested to take this test or any other tests...just click on this website... http://health.discovery.com/tools/assessments.html ...I don't know how to link it here the easy way...;p

Its quite interesting although some of the questions asked are not 'culturally and religiously acceptable'..but it is only a quiz..just give it a go ;)

2008-01-12T14:23:00.000Z

Little things in life that makes me happy..not in order..:)

1) friendly faces

2) spending time with family n friends

3) the smell of freshly cut grass

4) smell of coffee

5) beach

6) sunrise n sunset

7) music

8) the feeling of being appreciated

9) respect

10) the feeling of being in love

11) getting random hugs from family and friends..selected ones of course...;p

12) a clean space

13) chocolate muffins

14) 'me' time...once in a while

15) being loved

16) a good laugh

......to be continued....maybe ;)

Hair quickie

2008-01-08T11:25:00.001Z

A quick trip to u-know-who for a brilliant hair fix..:-P

2008-01-07T13:26:00.000Z

2007 was definitely a 'tough' year for me personally for so many reasons which I do not wish to discuss here. However, despite all that, I am optimistic that good things will come out of it eventually, if not now :)

So, what do I plan to achieve in 2008?

1) Get a job.

A stable part time job in the next few months is, and hopefully a 'fun' and stable permanent job before the middle of the year. Amin!!

2) Improve myself.

Focus on some sort of personal development... work on a few areas that I think needs some major and minor polishing...;p

3) Start a saving account.

4) Do some stuffs that I truly enjoy..or things that I dream of doing but never got the chance to do so.

Wish me luck..;)

2007-12-31T13:53:00.000Z

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BEE!!!

Hope you are having fun there in US especially when u r celebrating ur bday and new year there *envious smile* ;p...and update soon.

Few pictures that I have of you..and saya suka the old film effect..hehe.
enjoy yourself, birthday girl ;)

Take care and miss you.

Love,
me

2007-12-30T19:26:00.000Z

I've been tagged!!

Here are the Tagging rules:

1. Each blogger must post these rules.
2. Each Blogger starts with eight random facts/habits about themselves.
3. Bloggers that are tagged need to write on their own blog about their eight things post these rules. At the end of your blog, you need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names.
4. Don't forget to leave them a comment telling them they've been tagged and read your blog.

Eight random facts/habits about me ~

1. I hate cockroaches!
2. I love to sing.
3. I dream to be a marine archaeologist.
4. I am NOT a morning person, so I really appreciate an hour or two of SILENCE in the mornings.
5. I love tempoyak.
6. I mentally 'blocked' people out when I'm extremely not in the mood to listen.
7. I am reserved.
8. I enjoy reading.

These are the people tagged:

1. Iskiness
2. Audrey
3. Wina
4. Serena
5. Jirin
6. Rabzilulu
7. Fifah
8. Anyone else that seems to be reading this blog entry!!

2007-12-29T15:22:00.001Z

My new new hairdo ;)

2007-12-08T14:55:00.000Z

Badminton

Its raining so ever labat here in KB. I was out with my dad a few hours ago for dinner.. and then we passed this hall...it was sooo bright. Rupanya its a gelanggang where ppl can play badminton etc. I didnt even know theres one nearby to where I am in kb. I miss playing badminton!!!

I use to play badminton every now and then while I was in UBD with leng, iqzal, jane or ikin. We would arrive early so that we can get the court that we like...so that we wont end up waiting for the others to stop playing before we can start playing. It was fun.. playing singles and double.

This one time a few years ago, baby and I went to Menglait sports hall to play badminton. It was weird coz it was our first time and the court looked full...but we managed to play for a few hours. I remembered thinking that it was good.

I have to admit that I am not really aware of the rules...because I havent been bothered to take note of it. Maybe I should ;p But it is one of the sports that I enjoy...besides swimming, softball and playing pool...if that is considered as a sport..;p

Its been ages since I played badminton. Kak mel and I were just talking about it a few weeks ago I think but with the family functions at that time, we haven't got the chance to play.

Anyway, the point is....I miss badminton!! I havent played any sports since I got back...maybe I should make time soon ;) So, who wants to play badminton with me??

2007-11-10T18:05:00.000Z

Something we all might be able to relate to every now and then :)

Title: Procrastination

p/s: I just realize that im into sketches...:)