Why do we have to please everyone..when they dont seem to care to reciprocate and take ur feelings into account?

I dont think I have the answer to this one.

its like...can you do this for me? i said ok.

can you pls take this to bla bla bla? i said ok.

but when it comes to my turn....

can you this for me? ok...(but it never gets done)

get me this pls...ok...but its never there.

it makes it harder for me to rely on people.

I feel that I always care about others feelings...

but when it comes to mine, who cares???

so why do I have to decide on things to please others??

tell me coz i dont understand.

xxx

A new beginning???

Working life has not been that great.. a small office with soo many untold stories..unwanted politics..unwelcomed backstabbing.. and the demotivation experience every few months doesnt help either.. and on top of that, I discovered that one of my colleagues has been gossiping about me.. stuffs that are not true of course; however I guess I am 'surviving'.

Perhaps time will 'heal' all..?? hopefully.

Anyway, we have a new girl, our Senior Research Officer (SRO) who will head our unit. She is heavily pregnant and will be with us for atleast three weeks before she goes on her maternity leave.

She is soft spoken and seems interested to know about our role and function in the Ministry. She seem interested to want to hear it from us first before she meets BOSS on Monday. She expressed ideas that are somehow similar to ours (my colleague and I) which is good..and she voice out changes that she might want to introduce once she 'settle down' which will most probably be early next year.

So fingers cross...hopefully things will turn out for the better..and perhaps a new beginning for our unit. Aminnnn!!

xxx

We, the female species, are special...just read the following I extracted online. Isn't it great to be created for this purpose? I certainly think so.


Woman was made from the rib of man
She was not created from his head to top him
Nor from his feet to be stepped upon
She was made from his side to be close to him
From beneath his arm to be protected by him
Near his heart to be loved by him

Malay Translation

Sesungguhnya wanita dijadikan dari rusuk kiri lelaki
Dia bukan dicipta dari kepala ke kaki
juga bukan dari tapak kaki
Wanita dicipta dari sebelah kiri rusuk lelaki
supaya dia hampir kepada kamu (lelaki)
lengan lelaki dicipta untuk mempertahankan wanita
dekat dengan hati lelaki untuk disayangi.

This is hilarious guys...saw it on youtube last month...been hooked on it since...
obviously the guys in this video was really bored at work..haha..enjoy ;)



xxx

…

There are certain things in life that you can’t and shouldn’t return to…and sometimes these are the things you missed the most. You don’t talk about it but it’s always at the back of your mind. You don’t talk about it but certain things / places/ people just remind you of it.

At this moment, I miss the presence of ____ . I don’t talk about it as much as I think I cope better without talking about it. When you talk…it makes you think more…and the feedback you get might make you think more deeply. But if you keep it to yourself, although you think about it…but because there are no feedback, then you keep on burying it in…deeper and deeper. And atleast you move on without people saying…’ eh, u said bla bla bla…etc etc.

It is hard to resist the urge not to remain in touch…to drop a text…or an email…especially when details of ____ are laid down in front of you. However, sometimes you have to remind yourself not to fall back into that path after repeatedly being sucked in…with no positive result.

It makes me wonder what is it do I miss so much about ____?
Why do I believe there is still hope though it is clear there is none?
Why do I keep on looking back at it though I have taken huge steps forward?

I have to admit sometimes it does not help me at all when people inform me random updates related to ____. Of course there are times I want to know what is up / happening though there are times when I rather resist the temptation. And when I am given random updates about ____, it is easier to reserve you thoughts and feelings about it and reply with short and quick answer.

There are times when I wish we are still in touch…there are times when I wish ____ would surprise me with a call…an email…a text… though that would be like digging my own grave.

Anyway, despite whatever…I will remain silent as this is the best way I know I can cope. Talking does not necessarily solve it. It just complicates things especially when those around you claim their way is the most ideal way of dealing with things. It complicates things in your heart and head. It adds up to your worry. It makes you feel unsure and guilty…and that is the last thing you want.

For now, I guess the best thing is to hold on, be patience, pray and it will go away eventually, if not now.

Mantra of the day: When things do not go your way…when things we like / love is taken away from us, there might be something better in store for us.

xxx

...

We had a meeting tadi discussing various issues and challenges we are facing as a deparment.

Then come to logistics and our monthly collection...ada tia issue sabun siapa yang mesti order..and this sabun is to be place in every single toilet..then come the issue of 'inda kana layan' by the department who is responsible to respond to our request for sabun and all the other things..

sabun punya pasal voices are raised to the point of sakit telinga...i literally had to place one of my fingers into my left ear to minimize the impact of their "shouting voice"..each wanting their point to go across and each wanting the other to agree with their way...

then ada tia the issue pasal pangkat...its amazing huh?..i was certainly amazed how one can be so 'hierarchical' in their head..hmm..

more issues about..coffee break and money issue..and setting up a new fund khas for sedekah and charity purposes and atu pun no one can agree on the amount to be given.

One of them wants it to be institutionalise and each of the staffs must pay according to their salary scale and me and some others wants to have a tabung sedekah where it is there and its up to us to masukkan berapa kami mau...which i believe fits the purpose of sedekah and megikut keikhlasan hati..in the end, the agreed price is $3 minimum every month.

Everyone agreed to this..so its fine...as long as its not institutionalize as i personally think it bets the purpose of sedekah. Mind you..our monthly collection for our coffee break everyday sudah mengikut our scale gaji.. imagine having two tabung that we have to pay according to our scale?? ngalih saja buat dua kali kerja to audit it every month...

Anyway, the point is...we are a small department and yet everyone cant seem to agree..imagine a bigger group...which might be a disaster if sorang sorang with their PL (hehe...a word Ive learned since working..hehe)

basically the word to describe work = CHAOTIC!!!

xxx

Which one should it be?

xxx