…

There are certain things in life that you can’t and shouldn’t return to…and sometimes these are the things you missed the most. You don’t talk about it but it’s always at the back of your mind. You don’t talk about it but certain things / places/ people just remind you of it.

At this moment, I miss the presence of ____ . I don’t talk about it as much as I think I cope better without talking about it. When you talk…it makes you think more…and the feedback you get might make you think more deeply. But if you keep it to yourself, although you think about it…but because there are no feedback, then you keep on burying it in…deeper and deeper. And atleast you move on without people saying…’ eh, u said bla bla bla…etc etc.

It is hard to resist the urge not to remain in touch…to drop a text…or an email…especially when details of ____ are laid down in front of you. However, sometimes you have to remind yourself not to fall back into that path after repeatedly being sucked in…with no positive result.

It makes me wonder what is it do I miss so much about ____?
Why do I believe there is still hope though it is clear there is none?
Why do I keep on looking back at it though I have taken huge steps forward?

I have to admit sometimes it does not help me at all when people inform me random updates related to ____. Of course there are times I want to know what is up / happening though there are times when I rather resist the temptation. And when I am given random updates about ____, it is easier to reserve you thoughts and feelings about it and reply with short and quick answer.

There are times when I wish we are still in touch…there are times when I wish ____ would surprise me with a call…an email…a text… though that would be like digging my own grave.

Anyway, despite whatever…I will remain silent as this is the best way I know I can cope. Talking does not necessarily solve it. It just complicates things especially when those around you claim their way is the most ideal way of dealing with things. It complicates things in your heart and head. It adds up to your worry. It makes you feel unsure and guilty…and that is the last thing you want.

For now, I guess the best thing is to hold on, be patience, pray and it will go away eventually, if not now.

Mantra of the day: When things do not go your way…when things we like / love is taken away from us, there might be something better in store for us.

xxx

...

We had a meeting tadi discussing various issues and challenges we are facing as a deparment.

Then come to logistics and our monthly collection...ada tia issue sabun siapa yang mesti order..and this sabun is to be place in every single toilet..then come the issue of 'inda kana layan' by the department who is responsible to respond to our request for sabun and all the other things..

sabun punya pasal voices are raised to the point of sakit telinga...i literally had to place one of my fingers into my left ear to minimize the impact of their "shouting voice"..each wanting their point to go across and each wanting the other to agree with their way...

then ada tia the issue pasal pangkat...its amazing huh?..i was certainly amazed how one can be so 'hierarchical' in their head..hmm..

more issues about..coffee break and money issue..and setting up a new fund khas for sedekah and charity purposes and atu pun no one can agree on the amount to be given.

One of them wants it to be institutionalise and each of the staffs must pay according to their salary scale and me and some others wants to have a tabung sedekah where it is there and its up to us to masukkan berapa kami mau...which i believe fits the purpose of sedekah and megikut keikhlasan hati..in the end, the agreed price is $3 minimum every month.

Everyone agreed to this..so its fine...as long as its not institutionalize as i personally think it bets the purpose of sedekah. Mind you..our monthly collection for our coffee break everyday sudah mengikut our scale gaji.. imagine having two tabung that we have to pay according to our scale?? ngalih saja buat dua kali kerja to audit it every month...

Anyway, the point is...we are a small department and yet everyone cant seem to agree..imagine a bigger group...which might be a disaster if sorang sorang with their PL (hehe...a word Ive learned since working..hehe)

basically the word to describe work = CHAOTIC!!!

xxx

Which one should it be?

xxx

I want to move out!!

I cant seem to motivate myself here and be enthusiastic about the things I do.

Everything just seems so wrong here..

the atmosphere...environment...etc...etc...etc...

my brain cells seems to be shrinking in size..

zero productivity...zero creativity...zero motivation...

but I'm feeling 120 percent of the negativity around me...

ppl being unhappy...demotivated...not wanting to do anything...but talk talk talk...

sounds so dramatic, I know...

but thats how I've been feeling..

need to go away!!

xxx

Another quiz..;)

Your Working Style

You have a great deal of warmth, but may not show it until you know a person well. You keep your warm side inside, like a fur-lined coat. When you are care, you care deeply, but are more likely to show your feeling by deeds rather than words. You are very faithful to duties and obligations related to things or people you care about.
You take a very personal approach to life, judging everything by your inner ideals and personal values. You stick to your values with passionate conviction, but can be influenced by someone you care deeply about. Although your inner loyalties and ideals govern your lives, you find these hard to talk about. Your deepest feelings are seldom expressed; your inner tenderness is masked by quiet reserve.

In everyday activities you are tolerant, open-mind, flexible, and adaptable. If one of your inner loyalties is threatened, though, you will not give an inch. You usually enjoy the present moment, and do not like to spoil it by rushing to get thing done. You have little wish to impress or dominate. The people you prize the most are those who take the time to understand your values and the goals you are working toward.

You are interested mainly in the realities brought to you by your senses, both inner and outer. You are apt to enjoy fields where taste, discrimination, and a sense of beauty and proportion are important. You have a special love of nature and a sympathy with animals. You often excel in craftsmanship and the work of your hands is usually more eloquent than words.

You are twice as good when working at a job that you believe in, since your feeling adds energy to your efforts. You see the needs of the moment and try to meet them. You want your work to contribute to something that matters to you-- human understanding, happiness, or health. You want to have a purpose beyond your paycheck, no matter how big the check. You are a perfectionist whenever you deeply care about something, and are particularly suited for work that requires both devotion and a large measure of adaptability.

The problem for you is that you may feel such a contrast between your inner ideals and your actual accomplishments that you may burden yourself with a sense of inadequacy. This can be true even when you are being as effective as others. You take for granted anything you do well and are the most modest of all the types, tending to underrate and understate yourself.

It is important for you to find practical ways to express your ideals; otherwise you will keep dreaming of the impossible and accomplish very little. If you find no actions to express your ideal, you can become too sensitive and vulnerable, with dwindling confidence in life and in yourself. Actually, you have much to give and need only to find the spot where you are needed.

----
Suitable careers:
artist
beautician
botanist
carpenter
clerical worker
computer operator
counselor
dancer
dental and medical assistant
designer
dietician or nutritionist
factory worker
food service worker
forester
gardener
geologist
marine biologist
mechanic
nurse
occupational therapist
optician
physical therapist
police officer
recreation leader
secretary
teacher
veterinarian or assistant

WHICH ONE DO YOU THINK WOULD SUIT ME BEST? ;)

---xxx---

...Tried a few online quizzes...

GETTING TO KNOW MYSELF BETTER.

Your view on yourself:
You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You are not looking merely for a girl/boyfriend - you are looking for your life partner. Perhaps you should be more open-minded about who you spend time with. The person you are looking for might hide their charm under their exterior.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:
You like to flirt and behave seductively. The opposite sex finds this very attractive, and that's why you'll always have admirers hanging off your arms. But how serious are you about choosing someone to be in a relationship with?

Your views on education
Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:
You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:
You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of:
You are afraid of having no one to rely on in times of trouble. You don't ever want to be unable to take care of yourself. Independence is important to you.

Who is your true self:
You are full of energy and confidence. You are unpredictable, with moods changing as quickly as an ocean. You might occasionally be calm and still, but never for long.

I was browsing through my posts...and there were a few unpublished post. One of it is as shown below:

Normally..

I would be ok if things doesnt go as planned...

I would be more laid back...

more reserved...

keep my thoughts to myself...

have more patience...

more of a good listener...

more content with things...

accepting of things around...



But NOW...

I get easily annoyed with things...

dont understand why ppl like to complicate things...

I get depressed...

Im easily turned off...

angry...

say things without thinking...


***end***

I was surprise to read this as I dont remember this particular entry dated 9 December...however, everything is fresh now in my mind as I was trying to recall why I was feeling that way..hmm..let bygones be bygones.

---xxx---

I visited a dear friend of mine today after the Maghrib prayers. She has just given birth to a cute baby boy a few weeks ago…it’s her 4th child. It seems like yesterday when we were having fun at the university…reading and doing work together…chilling at the parking lot killing time before we head home…participate in the same activities…slept over at Kuala Balai…went to Miri and visited Gua Niah…and the list goes on and on  Time flies so fast…and now we are heading towards the big 30.

What am I talking about and why am I talking about this?? I have no idea. There was only one thing in my head as I was driving back to my grandma’s place...

I’m 29 and single…while my friend is approaching 30 with 4 kids…
I don’t even know who I will end up with…
How many kids will I have…
Will I be happy…

While all these questions are normal…it kinda scares me that Im thinking about this… I don’t think I am prepared for the responsibility and the ‘till death do us apart’… ;)
but at the same time, it will be an interesting chapter to venture into…

Anyway, I better go now before more nonsense gets out of me…lol…plus my eyes are too heavy…need to go to bed.

xxx

I LOVE NOTEBOOKS

I just switched on my laptop and was about to take my notes out to type...then I realize, I have lots of notebooks. I simply love them...at the moment, I have 4 with me at home..and surprisingly Ive been carrying it to work and back from work..no wonder my bag is heavy!!

And Ive been trying to count how many more I have at work...I think after I gave away one of it to my aunt last week, I have 3 more at work. hehe.



Sequence L to R: From Lee Kuan Yew's Memorial Lecture, Office, Kak Lin and Azedah :)

Oh..and one more thing...this is my present from kak mel...she 'hand-made' it. Another one to my collection of notebooks..yay..Lawa ah..:)



Thanks kak mel :)

Come to think about it...I have always have lots of notebooks and some of it remains empty for years...especially during my primary school years at St. George. But this time I intend to make sure all the books are efficiently use :) except for the one I got from Kak Mel..that is far too lawa to be written on..maybe in a few years time ;p

Conclusion: What can be a better way to explain..why I have lots of notebooks other than to say that I am in love with notebooks.

xxx

This is an email received from Bungsu. Read on...:)

Effectively Coping with Anger

By: Grant Kono, LCSW

Anger is generally the most self destructive emotion that you feel. This is because it’s an emotion focused on action. If you are not acting on the anger, then you are thinking about acting on the anger or hoping that someone else will act on the anger.

Anger always comes from a feeling of being oppressed, victimized, of boundaries being violated. The feeling can be felt personally or it can be observed to happen to someone else or to a group of people and then the feeling becomes personalized.

Although anger is an emotion that tends to be impulsively acted upon, it is actually a feeling that requires other emotions in order to be experienced. Anger always has the elements of anxiety and frustration at work. These emotions are usually harbored for some time before the emotion of anger arises. There is usually a triggering event or events from which the anger originates. Most often, there are a number of unresolved experiences prior to the triggering event(s) where these emotions are generated that are also involved. The experiences may be centered on a theme or general situation.

How Anger Arises

You may think that anger tends to come out of the blue, that you are generally a calm, rational person. What is more often the case is that you learn to live with a certain amount of suppressed anger, often kept at bay by addictive behaviors. Every once in awhile the amount of anger that you normally feel, and are normally capable of managing, is increased by an event, causing you to need to vent the extra anger that you now cannot manage, much like a pressure cooker venting steam. Once the excess anger is vented, you will probably go back to your normal routine, feeling like that anger was uncharacteristically felt and so most likely not your fault. When looking for who’s at fault, blame is placed outward, like the person who cut you off on the freeway, your boss, your wife, your kids, your car, etc.

Feeling Oppressed/Victimized

The problem with this feeling of victimization is that when you have the belief that this feeling of anger does not originate in you, there is no longer a reason to change the feeling in you. Instead, this feeling of oppression always means that there is someone or something oppressing you. And so the responsibility for your emotion is projected onto someone else. Now that your anger is someone else’s fault, there is no reason to confront your feelings. The action that you will take, or at least want to take, is to change that person or thing that you believe caused you to become angry.

The Angry Crusade

And so, the angry person goes on a never-ending crusade to right one wrong after another, not realizing that the anger is originating in him, and therefore trying to force people and situations to stop him from feeling angry. What you end up finding is that the crusade really is never ending. Once you force someone to stop making you angry you find someone else who makes you angry, and so you are on to another crusade. In the process, you force those people around you to your will or you force them out of your life. The people who are forced to your will must take on your belief that you were victimized by someone’s or something’s action or inaction, or to begin harboring their own feelings of oppression from you.

Making Others Responsible For Your Feelings

What you have really done is to make them become hyper-aware of your moods. This is necessary since the anger is almost always the last straw in a series of emotions and events nearly always spanning years, and so often difficult to pinpoint what the straw is or when it will next fall on the camel’s back. Since the people around you will never really be able to tell what the final straw will be, they become forced to monitor your emotions and to avoid any hot spots where they know you will become angry. In effect, what you have done is to make them responsible for controlling your anger. What you will unknowingly create are submissive and anxious people who will also begin to generate their own feelings of victimization and anger.

Chronically Suppressed Anger

People who chronically suppress their anger carry certain characteristics to their personality. They tend to have at least one addictive behavior, such as gambling, drinking, drugs, etc. They tend to be moody and cope with their moodiness by trying to feel happy, and also try to be around other people who they believe are happy. They try to keep their inner struggle with anger out of their awareness, as well as away from other people’s awareness. This struggle is a constant struggle and so the need to suppress their feelings and redirect their attention is also constant and tends to be impulsive, rising and falling with the tides of their inner struggle. Individuals who chronically suppress anger tend to find others who are going through similar struggles.

A Community of Anger

Individuals harboring anger find each other through their similar needs to engage in addictive activities, to make quick relationships that will help stem the tides of their moods, and who will understand their struggle because the other person is going through the same struggle.

Angry people usually do not have long term intimate relationships with each other, due to the volatility that is inherent in such a relationship. Instead, they tend to have angry friends who can support their feelings and behavior, while at the same time not constantly triggering each other, which they would be doing if they lived together. This supportive community often gets together to support each other’s beliefs of victimization and addictions, thereby unconsciously supporting each other’s underlying emotions that are causing these things in the first place.

Sustaining Anger

Anger is an emotion that is very easy for the mind to understand, but is very draining on the body. It causes you to want to run or fight, forcing the body to constantly release adrenalin, which becomes very taxing over the long term. Anger also doesn’t allow for positive feelings to flow. It is hard to want to retaliate toward someone when you’re feeling happy.

The mind’s response to this is to make you surround yourself with people and things that support your anger. You’ll find yourself listening to angry music. You will want to watch violent movies, and it might be a bonus if the hero in the movie is justified in being angry and acting out of his anger. You will perceive people and situations to be threats to you that someone without anger would not.

An interesting twist to anger is that you will begin to become aware of the destructive potential that you have should you act out of your anger. You will begin to project this potential onto other people who are angry, and begin to be anxious and hyper-aware of them, just as you have forced other people to become hyper-aware of you.

The Value of Anger

Is anger a bad thing? Yes and no. It is like the exhaust from a car. Does the exhaust pollute? Yes. Can I run my petroleum-fueled car without making exhaust? No. Are there other types of fuel that can be used that do not have this exhaust? Yes, and car manufacturers are slowly looking to alternative types of fuel. Ultimately, I do not believe that there is a place for anger in a society. However, the people in the society must reach a certain level in their emotional evolution to stop their own anger. Anything that you can do when angry, you can also do when calm and focused. Only when you are calm and focused you will have more options to you and you will be more in control of your actions. Anger will put blinders on you. It will force you into believing that you have only a few options, if that many.

That being said, anger also gives a person the motivation and courage to establish and maintain emotional boundaries. These boundaries are important for the continuing evolution of that person. But at some point the anger must be dropped in order to continue evolving emotionally. Like the example above, at the point we are in our evolution of fuel sources, we need petroleum in order to power many things. However, the exhaust is polluting our air, and has come to a point to where many people believe that long-term damage to our planet will happen if we do not reduce our use and find alternative fuel sources. In that same way, we must find alternative ways to look at ourselves and others that do not cause anger. In so doing, we will find alternative fuel, or emotions, in ourselves besides anger.

Why Do We Have Anger?

Anger is the normal evolution of our suppressed emotions. If you were to take the need to act on your anger away, it would simply indicate to you that you have anxiety and frustration built up in your body, and that it is now being funneled into anger by your belief that you are being victimized.

What Do I Do When Something Makes Me Angry?

Stop believing that something or someone else has made you angry. Start realizing that this person or thing has only triggered a feeling of victimization that you have set yourself up for by allowing unresolved feelings of anxiety and frustration accumulate. Start confronting your emotions. This does not mean that you have to stay in a certain situation. Rather, it means that you must calmly and rationally evaluate the situation(s) in your life that are causing anger, how they are benefiting you, hurting you, triggering your anger, your own role in the situations, and then decide what course of action, if any, to take.

No. I mean, what do I do right now when something makes me angry?

Unplug yourself from the person or the situation. When you feel angry, you will also feel plugged in. You will feel plugged into feeling victimized, plugged into wanting to retaliate, plugged into needing to start a course of action soon, if not immediately, the course of action often being aggressive.

The simplest, most direct answer to this is to unplug yourself. Walk away, take time out to clear your head. Don’t stay in the immediate situation and try to reason your way out or reason the situation out when your anger has been triggered. Step away from the person, the situation. In doing so, you will symbolically begin to step away from your anger and the beliefs associated with it. But this is only the beginning.

Anger is an emotion that usually takes years, or at least a number of unresolved experiences, to develop. It almost always has a number of attitudes and behaviors accompanying it in order to keep it in place. So the process of untangling your ball of anger will also take time.

The Place of Shame and Guilt

Unchecked anger can be a gruesome thing to observe, and certainly to experience. Adrenalin fuels anger. An angry person can become addicted to this feeling of adrenalin and the extra power flowing through his body, and so the destruction and impulsive actions that he is capable of can become addictive as well. One of the elements that people who constantly commit aggressive acts toward others have is anger. One of the elements that they lack is shame or guilt for their actions, allowing them to act on their angry feelings again and again.
All societies use shame and guilt in order to control their populace. It is probably one of the reasons why we haven’t killed ourselves off as a species. It would be wonderful if we all could have respect, empathy and compassion for all beings, but that takes a certain level of emotional and social maturity that is not always reached by people.

Instead, we are instilled at an early age of the sense of right and wrong, and of being good or bad people depending on our actions. While some people talk about the problems with guilt and shame, these are necessary emotions to feel until you can rise above these and begin feeling respect, empathy and compassion for others.

What do I do if I really want to get rid of these angry feelings?

The Active Work

First, realize that this process is going to be a long haul. It will most likely take years of concerted effort.

Take complete responsibility for your anger. That doesn’t mean that you need to stay in a situation that makes you angry, or that you shouldn’t address the situation to change it. It means that the emotion of anger that you are feeling is completely yours. You unconsciously set yourself up to feel angry by allowing an accumulation of anxiety and frustration to develop. Then you unconsciously allowed situations to arise that would make you feel victimized. It is like unconsciously putting a chip on your shoulder and then feeling victimized when someone knocks it off.

Begin making a note of every time that you feel angry. As you do this more often you will realize that you become angry far more often than you realized.

Begin making a note of every time that you feel frustrated and your frustration turns to anger.

Begin making a note of how often you feel anxious. You probably feel some level of anxiety most of the day.

Begin observing all the ways that your lifestyle, behaviors, and attitudes support this feeling of anger. What friends, family, associates also feel angry?

Now begin to make changes in your life. You must make a conscious decision that you will not act or think out of anger. Notice that this isn’t to say that you will not feel anger, or that it will not be a part of your life for a long time. Instead you are choosing to think and act in ways that are not influenced by your anger.

You must begin taking away the things and people who support your anger. Sometimes this means simply changing the way you interact with others, but most often it means leaving certain lifestyles and people behind.
Next, begin associating with others who support a life without anger. Have you noticed that these are all actions? None of these things have to do with changing your emotions. That’s the hard part. You can do all the things up to this point and have a lot of tools in order to begin removing anger from your life. If you want to get to the root of the problem, then read on.

The Emotional Work

Here comes the hard part. Begin to forgive yourself for being angry. Even though you might not realize it now, your anger is part of an unconscious coping mechanism that the human psyche has learned to adapt in order to help you survive. However, you must realize that there are better ways to respond to situations than to become angry. You must believe that there is always a better way to respond to a situation than to become angry, to feel that you are a victim.

Work at forgiving others for their part in triggering your anger. Begin to believe that these people struggle with their emotions on a daily basis, just as you do. It can be difficult to come to a realization of this, but you can trust that they struggle also.

Now you must begin feeling the pain and hardship that you brought upon others due to your behaviors. Anger rarely just effects those directly involved. There are often emotions felt by third parties on both sides of any conflict. You don’t necessarily have to seek out every person and ask forgiveness, but you need to contemplate on how many people you may have impacted in a negative way by your actions. This is one of the ways that you will begin to gain awareness of the impact that actions, both positive and negative, have on those around us and on society itself.

Finally, you need to go back into your memory and begin to unearth those experiences where you began the seeds of feeling victimized, feeling frustrated, feeling chronically anxious. They almost always go back to your childhood. If they do, look to see if there is a pattern that goes back generations to your parents, and their parents. One of the things that you may be doing is unraveling a pattern of dealing with your emotions that has gone on for generations.

Conclusion

Is the work hard? Is it tedious? Is it painful? Will you feel bad? Is it ultimately worth it? Yes to all. You will almost always need support on this journey. Avoid seeking help from those who are still plugged into old patterns that you are trying to shed. Seek out those who can show you compassion. Find others who are on the journey. Those people who have made significant progress on this journey are unusual. If you find someone like this, consider yourself lucky, and welcome whatever support this person can give you. If you need professional support, seek out a psychotherapist who understands where you are and who you are comfortable with. If you believe in God, or another source of a higher power, seek Him/Her/It out. Above all, don’t give up. Realize that there will probably be a number of backslides on your journey of shedding anger. Learn to be gentle with yourself as you learn to be gentle with others, and take better and better care of yourself as you learn to truly participate in life and with others better and better.

JEM JEM JEM

Today is Jem's nikah ceremony. I couldnt attend it as I am working..unless I rush off a lil early from work..perhaps around 4. That is not a bad idea..though I think its not gona happen.

Anyhow, wishing her all the best in the next stage of the life cycle..hehe..semoga bahagia till the end..stay in love and stay crazy as always. ;)

Once you are free, we should catch up on our Shisha session yang inda pandai menjadi jadi..haha.

Will try to turn up for your wedding once tercari dangan since NADZ wont be in the country at that time..;p

xxx

..Full to the max..

Event: 2nd Anniversary of the Institute I'm working with

Though the boss is not in the country at the moment, we went on anyways...upon his request. Started off with doa selamat read by an Ustaz.

Menu:

Soto
the full package...lada rindu, hati buyah, daging, and all the other bits to it..

Lamb Chop ...yummy...

Shepherd's Pie...delicious...

Orange campur...


And now everyone is full..the guys are off to prepare for the Friday prayers..and I'll be off soon too.

Thinking of sending my kain to bejahit..need it for weddings to attend...and to look nice and presentable at work. hehe.

Ok then, I better go off now.

xxx

Reminder of the day for myself:

- Be less critical of things. Just let it go.

- Try to ignore the judgemental people.

- Just try to do my best in whatever I am doing.

- Think positive.

xxx

Updates:

I am tired

Been working on ‘a-not-so-important-paper’ for a month...It is dragging and becoming less significant as day passed. But I’m so glad it is finally over. I’m hoping that I won’t have to do another ‘teamwork’ paper in the near future. It is simply frustrating and de-motivating.


I was planning to buy an Acer laptop over lunch just now…only to find it is not currently in stock. I was also told that the shop will not be selling Acer anymore because they have been getting complains from their customers…most of the problem = the motherboard. They told me to buy DELL. Hmm. Something to think about since I never thought of buying DELL before today. Maybe I’ll end up buying that small Aspire One...it’s cute and will benefit me since I only need it to type and do research…while I contemplate on a better one. What say you?


Looking forward to have a weekend to myself


Looking for other ‘career’ opportunities…so far none with my qualifications have been advertised. Most were very specific such as electricians, engineers, and the list goes on. Hopefully there will be one or two opportunities for me soon.

Will write more soon

xxx

I love this type of clips..

do u call it sketches...drawing..or...i dont know..anyway, its a very nice song..

enjoy :)

Received this through an email and think its worth sharing. Most of us usually connect beauty with physical beauty. Having the "correct height and shape" is seen as a blessing and perfect beauty.

However, how many of us have think and evaluate beauty in terms of the points below?
I guess not many...so enjoy reading :)

xxx

Kecantikkan Lelaki

Kecantikan seorang lelaki bukan kepada rupa fizikal tetapi pada murni
rohani. Lelaki yang cantik,adalah:-

1) Lelaki yang mampu mengalirkan airmata untuk ingatan

2) Lelaki yang sedia menerima segala teguran

3) Lelaki yang memberi madu,setelah menerima racun

4) Lelaki yang tenang dan lapang dada

5) Lelaki yang baik sangka

6) Lelaki yang tak pernah putus asa

Kecantikan lelaki berdiri di atas kemuliaan hati. Seluruh kecantikan yang
ada pada Nabi Muhammad adalah kecantikan yang sempurna seorang lelaki.


Kegagahan Wanita

Kegagahan seorang wanita bukan kepada pejal otot badan,tetapi pada kekuatan
perasaan. Perempuan yang gagah adalah:-

1) Perempuan yang tahan menerima sebuah kehilangan

2) Perempuan yang tidak takut pada kemiskinan

3) Perempuan yang tabah menanggung kerinduan setelah ditinggalkan

4) Perempuan yang tidak meminta-minta agar di penuhi segala keinginan.

Kegagahan perempuan berdiri di atas teguh iman. Seluruh kegagahan yang ada
pada Khadijah adalah kegagahan sempurna bagi seorang perempuan.

I am so ANNOYED...

I dont understand why some people, if not most, have a NEED to impose 'authority' over others.

Have the NEED to do things that only makes their lives, and the people around them, DIFFICULT!!

They are usually PERFECTIONIST TO THE POINT BEYOND LOGICAL AND RATIONAL THINKING...and expect others to do things the same way.

ACCEPT IT...people are different...each with their own ways of doing things...do things in the way they understand it better...and it is not NECESSARILY DONE UR WAY.

THERES NO PERFECT or IDEAL ways of DOING THINGS IN THE WORLD.

DONT IMPOSE THE WAY YOU ARE COMFORTABLE TO DO THINGS ON OTHERS!

THEY MIGHT UNDERSTAND THINGS BETTER AND ARE ABLE TO DO MUCH MORE IF THEY DO IT THEIR WAY...

XXX

Something missing...

I am 28 years old. Im blessed with a big extended family..aunties, uncles and cousins whom some I dont even know their real names. Friends from all sorts of background and a number of good trustable friends. I have a good education and a job with a reasonable pay, and I am seeing someone.

So why is it do I feel like there's still something missing...as if theres a missing 'brick' in the whole wide puzzle? Why is it I still feel lonely?

Don't get me wrong...I am absolutely thankful for the blessings Ive been given...the opportunities that came my way...the silly mistakes that made me a stronger and perhaps a better person.

The only question is...why am I feeling the way I feel?

xxx

My friend and I finally started our first day of what I call a 'permanent' or 'my never ending' attempt to lose weight and be fit...and oh my god!! Im so not fit!!! My friend said that if im not fit then i wont be able to reach the top of the first hill...which makes me feel better as I try to catch my breath at the top. lol. it means theres room for improvement..hehe.

So, may this be the beginning to whatever i dream of achieving...;p

xxx